Becoming A Warrior

Chapter 15

Roller skating with Marissa was really fun. She’s so goofy! I lost count of how many times she fell trying to catch me. I guess I forgot to mention that I would roller skate every Friday night for two years with Kyle before he died. He taught me everything. I miss him so much, but nothing can bring him back. I’ve moved on I guess you could say. I’ve finally come to conclusions with myself. If I keep dwelling over the past it’ll never go away. It happened. It’s over. I have to move on and live my life.

But, what even is life? Is it even worth living? We’re all born at one point, and we live an innocent life until we start the long journey known as our education. We spend 13 years of our life learning things that we will probably never use. Ever. We graduate, well most of us at least, and then we start our so called adulthood. We go to college, again at least most of us. We study what we feel is right for us, and then struggle to get a job. Too many people are graduating, and not enough are employed. If we’re lucky we get a job. If we’re not then, we don’t. If you do get a job you just work. You work as hard as you can to provide yourself and/or your family with an immaculate lifestyle, even when it isn’t possible. You work. You work some more. You get hurt. You recover, most of the time. You struggle. You work some more. Then, bam! It hits you. You retire at 65, if you can. There were too many ifs in that sentence. You see what I mean? That’s life right there. Explained in 167 meaningless words. Oh, but wait there is more! You retire, and you’re either healthy… or not so much. You live with minimal benefits, and watch as the world before your eyes falls apart. The war. The economy. All of it. Then, when your time comes… you die. You just die. You’re born. You struggle through life. And, you die. That brings me back to my point! Is life even worth living if we all just die?

Of course, there are the people like me. The people who have to learn the truth about life a little too soon. It’s so far from a gift. It’s a series of disastrous, and painful events that you have to live with. It’s like a rubber band. You can only stretch your luck so far before it just snaps. And, when it snaps the outcome is unpredictable. And, that is beyond terrifying.

“Skylar!” Demi yelled. She looked scared. Shit, what did I do?

“Yeah?” I tried to say as calmly as possible.

“We’ve been calling your name for the past 10 minutes. You didn’t answer, you’ve just been staring at the floor.” I noticed that Nick and Marissa were also there, and they looked just as concerned.

“Kiddo, you alright?” Marissa chimed in.

“Yeah, I’m really sorry. I just zoned out. I’m okay.” None of them looked the slightest bit convinced. Oh well. Demi stood up and motioned for me to follow her.

“We’ll be right back.” She said to Nick and Marissa sitting on the couch.

I just followed her down the hallway until she stopped outside her bedroom door. She told me to go in her room, and she followed me in.

“Sit.”

I decided to have some fun with this and I stopped in my tracks and sat on the floor. Demi giggled which made me laugh as well.

“Up here kiddo.” What’s up with them calling me kiddo? Jeez.

I sat on the bed next to Demi and she wrapped her arms around me pulling me into her lap. I knew where this was going and I didn’t like it one bit.

“What’s on your mind?”

“It would be easier for me to explain to you what’s not on my mind.” This is the truth.

“What were you thinking about?” Nothing that concerns you, Demz.

“Nothing, just life.” I mean technically I wasn’t lying.

“Uh huh, and were these happy thoughts or bad thoughts?” I have no idea!

“Um, I guess neutral.” Well, that works.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Yes.

“Not really” I’m lying!!

“You really suck at lying, honey.” Damnit.

“Fine, I was thinking about life. And, whether or not it’s really worth living if we all just die in the end. We go through terrible things. We get an education, well most of us. Then, we work until we can’t anymore. Then, we just die. That’s life. Is it even worth it?” Demi looked both shocked and intrigued by my words. As if they caused her to think.

“You’ve made an amazingly accurate point, but what you failed to mention were all the things that come in between. Some people get the job of their dreams. Some people start a family. Some people all around change the world. Everyone goes down a different path, and yes in the end we do die. That is a true statement. And, we are not born with a life worth living. You have to make it worth living. And, in my eyes, Sky, you sure as hell have.” No Demi. No I haven’t. I’ve ruined it all.

“Yes, Demi, you’re right. But, you also forgot to mention the people who don’t have a family. Who don’t have the job of their dreams? Yeah those. The ones who can’t change the world. The people society pretends don’t exist. The misfits. The broken. The lost. The people who couldn’t finish school, because they had to leave to support themselves or their family. The ones who couldn’t get a job, and are homeless. Those people still exist! They’re here. And, we pretend they aren’t for the sake of ourselves. It makes me sick. They had all the opportunity in the world. They had the same life in front of them that you did 21 years ago. They didn’t know they’d turn out like this, but they did.” Now I’ve completely mesmerized her. Good going self. Good going.

“I have no words. Simply because in a way, you’re right.’ I guess I didn’t notice I’d started crying, but Demi did. She hugged me tight, and kissed my forehead.

“Demi?”

“Yes sweetie?”

“Can we do something? Like something that will help others? We could volunteer or donate. Or I don’t know, just something.” I meant this. I wanted to make a difference.

“That is a great idea. We can. What are you interested in doing?” I had no idea. I wanted to help everyone. The homeless. Broken. Alone. Hell, I even wanted to help the animals, but I’m only one person. I can’t do it all.

“I want to do everything.”

“Everything is a lot of things, but you know what?”

“What?”

“I think we can work something out.” Demi said as she leaned in and kissed my forehead again.

“Thanks…” I paused for a second, “mom.”