NSFW

All That I Want, All That I Need

"Are you crazy?" Clarke heard the moment she pressed her phone up to her ear five minutes after arriving at Pier 84.

"Probably," she admitted, trying to blink back the tears that continued to fall. She didn't want to know what happened after she left even though she knows she's going to be a meme and it's not going to be pretty.

"Clarke, you've gushed to me over him for years and he asks you to marry him and you say no?"

"He... two weeks ago he said he didn't want to marry me. Two weeks and he changes his mind? No, Niylah, that isn't fair and you know if I said anything about you and Kara you'd say I don't know her well enough to judge the situation and you'd be right and you don't know the situation. Him ambushing me like that... how was that fair?"

"I'm sure he was certain you were going to say yes instead of humiliating him like you did. He was devastated, Clarke. I've never met the man so I can't speak for anything before this but the way he looked at you, it was like you're the ocean and he's desperate to drown."

Clarke looked out over the water and sighed, "I don't know why I did it, I... three weeks ago he said he didn't want to marry me and now he's in New York proposing on the Today Show? I don't know what to take from that. It doesn't make sense, who changes their mind like that?"

"Do you want kids?"

"That's not fair, I can't."

"But you don't know that for certain. You had a tough go two years ago when it was ectopic but that doesn't mean the next time you try is going to go the same way."

"It doesn't mean it's not."

"No, you're right, it could, but Clarke, why not try? Why not go through all the trouble for the chance to have the child you've always wanted?"

"Because I don't want my heart ripped out through my vagina again. It's not something I'd wish on my worst enemy."

Niylah sighed before going completely silent on her end, "Um, Clarke, we should hang up and you should turn around."

"What?" Clarke spun around and Bellamy and a camera crew were behind her. "What are you doing here?"

"Miller geo-tracked your phone and—"

"What are they doing here?" She asked pointing at the camera crew.

"They want to know why just like I do."

"Where was the lie? When you told me that you didn't want to marry me three weeks ago or just now when you said the opposite? How am I supposed to trust this decision?"

"Because I had this planned since O's wedding. I've always wanted to marry you but the four months you wanted were insane when you wouldn't even be there for five weeks to make sure it's all ready. My words came out wrong and I'm sorry."

Clarke scoffed, "And so you were staying at your sister's because you couldn't tell me that?"

"I was staying there because I was going to ruin this if I went back to you. I would have explained and I wanted this to be a surprise."

"Well, surprise! I ran away because you broke my heart three weeks ago. After everything we've been through, this was what you thought was a good idea?"

"I know, I'm sorry. I meant everything I said today and the last three weeks have been hell without you."

"I'm well aware," Clarke grimaced. "You can't doing this to me, not again. It's all or nothing."

"All sounds pretty damn good to me," Bellamy smirked.

"I don't know if I can give you a family."