The Curious Case of the Two Dirk Gentlys

51: Doing Something

Robert really shouldn't have been surprised by anything at this point. Victoria had never been subtle about her ability and up until a few days ago Robert hadn't thought about it too hard. It was just kind of cool. Of course, everything after that, his son and the detectives and all this stuff about the universe, had come as a complete shock. By now he should be completely numb. Yet as Richard recounted his own tales of high adventure by Svald's side he found himself once again confused and bewildered. Only in some sort of messed up fantasy world should such nonsense be allowed to occur.

"So he left a voicemail on my girlfriend's phone. Unfortunately, that ended up-"

"Wait, wait, the ghost left a voicemail?" Robert interrupted for the thrid time as Richard told the story of his boss's first death (whatever that meant).

"Yes, yes, now as I was saying-"

"I'm sorry this is a great story, I'd love to hear it all the way through sometime. It's just...should we be doing something?" He asked.

"Like what?" Asked Richard.

"I don't know. Destroying this place I guess." He shrugged.

"Ah, you're talking about this whole destroy Blackwing thing." Richard nodded.

"It's what the universe wants." Robert mumbled.

"The universe wants a lot of things. Trust me, Robert, once you start listening to what the universe tells you to do it's very hard to stop. If you know what's good for you you'll just keep on walking and do nothing." Richard explained. Robert nodded and continued aimlessly walking forward. He expected the tension to break and Richard to continue his story of ghosts and robots. No such luck. They walked together without a word, the alarms and red flashing lights forming hellish ambient music. Barely a minute passed before Robert couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm sorry I just...we can't just walk around until Dirk fixes everything and the alarms stop. When we were alone that Friedkin guy said that no-one ends up in Blackwing without a reason. That's got to mean us too right?" Robert asked frantically. There was an air of desperation in his voice that Richard recognised all too well. Everyone had a moment of panic when first properly entering the wonderfully whacky world of holistic detection. It was the moment when they decided whether they would escape back to normality or let the stream of creation swallow them whole. He could tell by Robert's words which one he had chosen.

"Alright, then do something. Do whatever you think the universe wants you to do." Said Richard.

"Okay, well if we're supposed to destroy this place then maybe...maybe..." Maybe what? He had absolutely no idea. He looked around for a clue. He was greeted with nothing but walls, walls and walls all around. Failing to think of anything else he kicked one with all his strength. It shattered and crumbled with ease. Clearly it was made up of little more than cheap plaster.

"There you go. Did that feel good?" Richard smiled falsely.

"Yeah. It actually felt amazing. Thank you." Robert nodded. "Do you want a go?"

"No I..." Richard looked the corridor up and down. There was nobody around to stop him. Why not let a little anger out? He ran at the wall and punched it. Normally punching a wall would have hurt like crazy yet punching Blackwing's walls felt like little more than hitting air. Once again the plaster beneath caved in with little effort at all. "Oh yeah, that was good."

The two men continued to gleefully attack the fabric of the building. They kicked and punched and pushed, forming a two man demolition team. It was almost therapeutic. Dusty white powder painted the floor and graced the air. Onlookers would have called it chaotic, Richard and Robert considered it beautiful.

"Well isn't this nice?" A chilling voice asked. The two men stopped dead. As the dust settled they turned to face the stranger. At the end of the corridor stood Priest, smiling madly as he pointed a pistol in their direction. Ken stood behind him, bathed in red and black. He too pointed his gun towards them. No smile was worn on his face. "Sorry to interrupt you, gentlemen, but the fun is over. Consider yourself officially reprimanded."