novacaine // a.i. {discontinued}

~ 0.7 ~ who are you ~

1213 days before

June 17, 2010

Age 16

The time that I spent with Ashton was great. I was happy. At first, I wasn't used to being happy. After being sad for so long, how do you even understand the word "happy"? But then I got used to it. I liked happy. Happy was good.

But good things never last. I was up in the clouds for so long, and suddenly, I crashed down into reality. Nothing triggered it, really. That's the thing about sadness. It comes right when you least expect it.

But I wasn't sad. I wasn't happy. I wasn't anything. I was numb. I couldn't smile anymore. I couldn't cry anymore. I just couldn't. All I could do was wallow in my own self pity. As if my misery wasn't enough, my uterus didn't like me either. I sat on the bed and sulked while trying to find a position that would stop the pains.

Normally when things like this happened, I would simply call Ashton. I reached for my phone. I quickly clutched it in my hand and dialed his number. The ringing continued until he finally picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ashton, can you come over?" I begged.

"Um, sorry, Scarlett, I can't right now. Uh, my parents want me to spend family time." He replied. My face fell, but my disappointment was short lived and instantly turned to concern when a large crash echoed through the phone.

"Are you okay?" All my previous thoughts went out the door.

"Yea, I'm fine," he rushed. "Look, I really need to go. Call you back later." he quickly hung up, leaving me with only the obnoxious beep.

"Sketchy lil' shit," I thought as I dropped my phone back on my bed. Flopping back onto my bed, the numbness quickly flooded back into my mind. I was drowning in my own pool of sadness, a shallow pool, but deep enough to the point where I struggled to stand.

"How white girl do I want to be?" I asked myself. After a couple seconds of contemplating, I trudged downstairs and opened the fridge. Milk. Eggs. Bagels. No ice cream. Normally, I would've shrugged it off and returned to my grief. However, my uterus didn't agree and dragged me towards the supermarket, in search for ice cream.

~

My feet carried me through the concrete streets. Normally, I would get my mom to drive me, but she wasn't home. Step by step, I got closer and closer to the supermarket.

The walk normally wasn't as long as it was today, but the pain in both my mind and my stomach were enough to slow me down. After 5 minutes, I wished I had just stayed at home, but I was already half way there.

I turned multiple street corners and passed by multiple alleys. Finally reaching the store, I rushed towards the ice cream section, eager to get back home.

I sprinted past the aisles, none of them carrying what I wanted. I quickly thrust open the freezer door and snatched a quart of ice cream. Serving size: four? I think you mean all four me.

I paid for my ice cream, eager to get back home, but not so excited for the walk. I trudged out of the store, clutching onto my newly bought creamy goodness.

After I exited the store, I continued my trek home. On the way, I passed by an unfamiliar abandoned alley. It seemed as if nobody used it for years, but noises echoed through the narrow passageway. A yell emerged from the alley, drawing me in to see what was going on.

The alley was a lot damper than normal. Many slimy objects laid on the ground and I cautiously stepped over them. As I got further into the alley, it got darker and darker. Finally, two silhouettes appeared.

At first it didn't seem like much. From what I could tell, the two people were just arguing. But who the hell argues in an alley? I snuck forward, just enough to barely pick out their appearances. I quickly hid behind a cardboard box as I watched the scene unfold in front of me.

There were two men. One of them wore a plain black t-shirt and jeans. He was obviously unhappy at the other man who was decked in a red hoodie. The hoodie-wearing man was obviously trying to calm down the black tshirt man. I couldn't hear his voice very well from how quiet he spoke, but it rang a bell in my mind. Distracted by trying to recognize the familiar voice, I almost didn't notice when suddenly, t-shirt and jeans swung his fist back and landed on hoodie's stomach.

Following the punch, several more were thrown, all in different places. Face, throat, chest, all were hit by the man. My eyes watched in horror as t-shirt boy struggled to fight back but ended up collapsing on the damp floor.

Finally escaping my state of shock, I let out a small shriek. Not loud enough to be heard from far, but loud enough for the man to hear. He quickly turned towards me. My heart quickened. Shit, he's gonna come after me. Instead he did the exact opposite. After getting a small glimpse of my face, he turned and ran away.

More preoccupied with the boy laying on the ground, I didn't run after the man. Instead I ran towards the boy. Once I got closer to him, his features got more defined. I knew that face. The last face I would ever expect in a place like this.

"Ashton?" I gasped.

"Scarlett, what the hell are you doing here?" he grunted, blood trailing from a cut on his face

"I was getting...," I trailed off as I realized I dropped my ice cream along the way. "Never mind, what are you doing here? Are you a drug dealer or something? Mafia? FBI agent? I thought you had to hang out with your family. Being used as a punching bag isn't exactly family time. "

"One, I'm not a drug dealer. Two, I wasn't lying, Scar. Family stuff," he whispered, breath weakening. "You'll find out one day, okay?" he suddenly closed his eyes.

"Ash? Ash!" I called out. No reply. "If this is a joke, I swear to god, I will kick your ass." Still no reply.

"Frickle frackle." I cursed, pulling out my phone as I dialed in the 3 numbers.

~

Soon the ambulance arrived. I was immediately interrogated by one of the doctors. I lied and told him I was just walking by because it was a shortcut and witnessed the scene. They loaded Ashton onto a gurney and into the ambulance.

Once they left, I hurriedly rushed home, wanting to get to the hospital. I should really get a license, I thought as I ran home. As soon as I got home, I screamed at my mom to take me to the hospital. ("No! I'm busy!" "I'll take the keys and drive the car myself if you don't!") Finally agreeing to take me, she hopped into the car and drove.

During the car ride to the hospital, I began to think. He never once mentioned his family to me. I didn't even think he had a family. I didn't know where he lived or who he lived with. What kind of family calls getting punched in the face "family time"? The more I sat there and thought, the more questions I had about this boy I thought I knew enough to trust my life with. This so called Ashton Irwin. I didn't know him at all.

Finally arriving at the hospital, I rushed to his room. I burst through the doors and found him laying on his bed, eyes closed with all kinds of machines and tubes sticking out of him. He looked peaceful as he slept, but his bloody and bruised face said different. Staring at him from beside his bed, I let out a breath as I quietly whispered,

"Who are you?"

~

ok so I'm trying to make my chapters longer so i hope you liked it. tbh I didn't but oops but it's 3am so don't even

ok deep personal moment rn but I actually have severe depression and anxiety but I'm the worst at describing and writing about it so sorry for the shitty representation

this is basically where the story kinda gets started (not really ok)

song of the chapter: who are you now by sleeping with sirens. great song ok

I'm trying to make my A/Ns shorter

~iris