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Episode 14: Kiss and Tell

Episode 14: Kiss and Tell

Shit.

He was gaining weight.

Ivy stood in front of the mirror, rubbing his hands over his stomach nervously. He hadn't always been a thin person. He'd always had some weight on him, never had abs or anything, but when he'd started the testosterone, he'd lost some weight and had felt more likely to exercise, even if it was just dancing around his room with a hairbrush.

However, he'd noticed lately he was getting a little chunkier. His clothes, which he always bought a size or two larger than his actual size, were actually starting to fit him and not comfortably either. What was more was that he was starting to get hairier, and fuck, that was annoying. He found himself shaving every single day, as opposed to his former once every couple day routine. He was also not only shaving his underarms, but his face too, and he was horrible at it. Even after having his dad show him, he was still crap at it and had cut himself often.

And even though it was a cool breezy sixty outside, he was sweating more. He always came home with pit stains, and worse after a shift at the cafe.

The only upside he could find was that his voice had deepened significantly over the past couple months. He hadn't even noticed until Skyler pointed it out. He thought Skyler was being polite until everyone else started to notice too. And somehow, that managed to make him feel way better about everything else happening.

Still, he was starting worry about his weight. He never really considered himself fat, just a little on the chunky side. Now he was starting to panic because this was going beyond chunky. And he didn't care what anyone said, that he looked good no matter what, because this wasn't about looking good for other people.

It was about looking good to himself.

And at the moment, he wasn't looking so hot.

Especially with little cuts on the right side of his face.

Ivy sighed, moving away from the mirror, not really enjoying the view anymore. He scrubbed his hands over his hair, noticing that the hair on his head had also decided it was going to get longer. He'd gotten it cut over the summer, but it was already getting near his shoulders. He raked his hands through it, relieved it was wet and no longer oily. Not that he could say the same for his face.

Even though he'd just bathed, his face still felt oily and he hated it. It made his fingers twitch to scrub at it, but it already burned from the razor mishap.

Frustrated beyond belief, he retreated to the bedroom, relieved Jethro wasn't present. Apparently the guy had gone to hang out with Matthew again.

It made Ivy nervous.

Matthew seemed like a nice guy. He was always helping Jethro out, picking him up and taking him to places, to study groups, and he even helped Jethro find a tutor. He always called and checked in on him to make sure he was okay. If anything, Matthew was just fantastic.

Maybe too fantastic?

Ivy wasn't sure what to make of the feeling in his gut, just that it wasn't a good feeling. It was the same feeling he got just before that time someone had dumped milk on his head in middle school, or when his mom had left him and his dad.

Maybe it was nothing, but Ivy couldn't help it. He didn't exactly trust the guy. He was too attentive. Even more so than Julia, who was now Jethro's ex, and a total taboo discussion in the household. Jethro didn't speak her name, didn't bring up the fact that they were broken up. He appeared to bury his head in the sand and pretend nothing horrible had happened.