Brave

Chapter 25: Believing the Truth

His expression turns into one of fury. "What did she say?" But before I can respond, he tells me, "Don't answer that." He gets up, pulling his phone out of his pocket and punching the buttons. He walks out of the room, but I can hear him clearly when he shouts, "What did you say to Sarah?!" He pauses momentarily and then demands, "I want to know exactly what you said to her!" He's quiet for a few minutes, presumably listening to his sister. Finally, he tells her, "You had no right to say anything like that to her! None of that is true!" He listens a bit more and then finally says, "I love you, Jess, but this is none of your business! I'm in love with Sarah!"

A small, grateful smile crosses my face, and the weight of my out-of-control emotions finally lifts. He comes back to the living room and kneels down in front of me. "Sarah, have I ever lied to you?"

"Not that I know of," I reply, smiling sheepishly.

"Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?"

"No," I tell him again.

"Then please believe me when I say that I am so completely in love with you that, if I could, I would ask you to marry me right now. See? I'm even kneeling down in front of you. But I know you're not ready for that, so I'll wait for the right time. You will never, ever be a burden to me. And I want to be with you." He drops his voice to a whisper. "Forever."

He kisses me, gently at first, until I pull him tight. He slowly gets up off the floor and joins me on the couch, never breaking the kiss. He deepens it, making me open my lips and I even let out a satisfied sigh.

"Are you sure you don't need to take care of yourself for a while?" I ask him, trying to quell the last lingering bit of fear.

"I am taking care of myself, Sarah, because you are what I need. And you're taking care of me, too. I still can't believe you love me, and it means so much to me that you're a part of my life. I don't see any of this as one-sided. We both give and take, and you've already given me so much."

He hugs me again and when we finally part, I tell him, "I'm sorry I doubted you. Please forgive me."

"Forgiven. But I want you to keep this in your brain: You will never be a burden to me. And do you know what?" I shake my head. "There will probably be times that we both find it hard to love one another." My eyebrows crumple in confusion. "Because we're human, and feelings are just feelings. But love is much more than just a feeling. I'm sure you've seen that with your parents. I know I saw it with mine. They got irritated with each other, they argued, they had seasons where they functioned more like a corporation than a couple, but the one thing they consistently did each day was to choose to love one another. And I promise the same to you, Sarah. I love you now and I know I always will, but I also promise to choose each day to continue to do the things that show you that I love you. I promise to love you in practical ways, and yes, that might mean taking care of you sometimes. And who knows? Some day down the line, I may be a burden to you when you have to change my diapers."

I cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. "I hope not."

He laughs with me, kissing me again. "My point is that love isn't just a fleeting feeling and I know you know that. You just got spooked by my sister because she spoke to your fears. So this is me, telling you that when it comes to my love for you, you have nothing to fear."

When I pull back, I lean my head against the back of the couch. I reach my hand up to caress his face, running my thumb over the edge of his goatee. "I love you," I whisper.

"I love you, too." And then he leans over and kisses me, a kiss full of passion and fire. He leans over far enough that his chest is pressing against mine and it feels like he's going to push the air out of my lungs, but in a good way. Before I know it, we are all hands and lips and heavy breathing, and I don't think I've ever been so excited in my life.

Suddenly, Ethan moves away from me and looks at me with his eyes wide. He starts stumbling over his words and I find it amusing. "Wow, I...I'm sorry."

I start to giggle a little at his adorable bumbling. "There's nothing to be sorry about."

He starts to recover but the redness in his cheeks is priceless. "I don't...I mean, we shouldn't...well, it's like...."

I hold my gut and laugh deeply. "Are you trying to tell me something?"

He nods, taking a deep breath. "I just want you to know something about me, and I'm not sure you'll like it."

"What? Another prosthetic leg?" I ask, trying not to giggle anymore.

"No, I just think...well, you know I...I mean...."

"Ethan," I say in a matter-of-fact tone. "Are you trying to tell me that we shouldn't go any further because you're planning to wait until marriage?"

He nods again and looks at me with embarrassment, and maybe a little bit of remorse.

"I know that," I say, shrugging my shoulders. "I think that's just the kind of guy you are. And you are a Christian, after all."

"Well, not all Christians do the right thing," he says, laughing a little.

"I know," I assure him. "But I know you will."

"That doesn't bother you?" He asks.

"No, why should it? It means you have a conviction and enough character and integrity to carry it out. And it also means you that respect me. How can that bother me?"

"But how do you feel about it?" He presses.

"Maybe I've never quite had the conviction you do, but I never thought it appropriate to just give sex to any guy I happened to be attracted to. And I've never loved anyone enough to give myself away. So...." I shrug. His face flushes deeply as he looks down, seeming relieved but still somewhat embarrassed.

I lean down so I can look up into his face. "Until now," I whisper. "But I'm willing to wait for you."

He grins so widely that it lights up his entire face and I can't help but be drawn into his happiness. He kisses me again, several more times, actually. But this time, we keep our hands in respectable places. He finally leans his forehead back into mine. "I knew there was a reason I loved you so much."

After a bit more time just holding each other, having missed each other's arms for almost a week, Ethan gets ready to leave.

I walk him to the door and he tells me, "You have to know a little about Jessica to understand her. She's kind of a free spirit. She escaped a lot after my mom died, either holing up in her room or going out with friends. I escaped, too, but in a different way. That was her way of coping, I guess, so she wasn't around much. That means she didn't help out much either. I think she feels guilty for letting my dad and me bear the burden of keeping the family together. And I think that maybe she still hasn't fully grieved over Mom's death."

"That makes sense," I tell him.

"Yeah, but it doesn't excuse what she did. She owes you an apology."

"So, are you still taking me to Patrick's wedding?" I ask shyly.

He grabs me and hugs me playfully. "Of course. If I had my way, I wouldn't go anywhere without you ever again."

* * * * *

Yay! They worked it all out. Now, hmm, what else is in store?