La Mort et ses Merveilles ✔

13. I Kissed a Boy and I Liked It

"I'm sorry," she said, once she recovered. "It's not you, it's just that. . . it's just so funny you know?"

"Yeah," I muttered, biting my lip. "I guess it actually kind of is."

"C'mon," she replied. "I'm not laughing at you. It's just that the whole situation when you compare it to how everything's fallen apart, it's kind of comical once you look at it. Boy trying to figure out his sexual orientation in the middle of the zombie apocalypse."

I only looked down and fidgeted with my fingers, shaking my right leg.

"Yeah," the girl said, pushing her hair away. "Sorry."

"I'm just really confused you know?" I began, running a hand through my hair. "I mean, when I was in high school I was into girls and I did have a girlfriend, but then now with Leslie around, I feel the same way, but it can't be right can it?"

"What do you mean it can't be right?" Cass said. "You feel the way you feel."

"Yeah, but I've only been with girls," I muttered, feeling somewhat embarrassed. "So. . . I don't know. We kind of fooled around once, Leslie and I –some touching and all, but nothing really happened."

Cass only shook her head, yet I could notice the smile in the corners of her lips.

"I don't know how to put this to you, even though it's kind of painfully obvious," she began twirling a finger around a lock of brown hair. "Bisexuality exists."

I gulped as I bit into my lip.

"Well," I said. "I never really thought about it that way. Sorry for troubling you."

"Are you kidding?" she giggled. "This is the juiciest thing that happened to me ever since the whole zombie thing started. This place has just been so dry! Talk to me anytime you want."

"So. . ." I mumbled. "You don't care that I'm uh-"

"That you like guys?" Cass said, cutting me off. "It's the end of the world darling, who cares whether you like boys or girls?"

I could only gave her a little smile as I sat there. It was all a bit overwhelming and hard to take in, to be really honest.

We could hear the two girls' voices outside. They were probably back from picking the flowers. Well, hey certainly didn't take long.

"I'm gonna go check on them," Cass said as she stood up, giving me a pat on the back.

Walking over to the front door, she stopped and turned to look at me.

"Just never try to pull that nonsense without my permission ever again," she said, shooting me a glare. "On the other hand it's been a while since I've handled any dick."

I could only look at her, bewildered. The girl only giggled as she rolled her eyes.

"Just ask me next time if you really want a girl to do it with you next time," she said as she shot me a playful wink.

With that, she left me all alone in the trailer, staring at the floor and my cheeks beetroot.

***

I didn't see Leslie for the rest of the day. Maybe he was avoiding me. Maybe I was avoiding him. I was thankful though, there were already too many things on my mind, for the most part the question of my sexuality. I didn't know what to feel, to be fair.

Yet Cass's words kept playing in my mind.

It's the end of the world darling, who cares whether you like boys or girls?