Tortured Souls

Chapter 14

"I think I will be able to hunt by tomorrow!", I exclaimed cheerfully as I slowly limped into Bobby's living room. Just as I was trying to prove to Dean that I could walk on my own two feet I had to screw it up and fall forward.

"Oh no you don't!", Dean laughed as he caught me mid fall and walked me over to the couch.

"Come on Dean! It's been like two weeks since the accident and all I've been able to do is mope around the house!", I whined.

Since the accident, Sam and Dean dropped me off at Bobby's so I could slowly get better while they went out on hunts. I wasn't too fond of the idea. Mostly because I was jealous that Sam and Dean got to go out and hunt, but I had to stay behind. Don't get me wrong, I really like Bobby, it's just that I can't handle being stuffed up in a house for days on end. I tried to read into some lore, but everytime I did my mind day dreamed about when I would hunt again. I guess I just missed the normalcy of a hunt.

"I'd rather have you moping around then getting hurt again", Dean stated as he brushed a piece of hair out of my face. I looked into his eyes and smiled. Ever since the accident I noticed a slight change in Dean. Or at least a change in the way he acts towards me. It's almost like he lets down his guard around me. He's gentler than before which I appreciate. He also calls every night he's not at Bobby's to make sure I'm alright. The answer is always yes even though I'm not alright. Not even in the slightest. I put on a brave face for the boys, but the truth is, I'm terrified. I'm terrified of myself and what I have become. I'm scared that I'll accidentally kill an innocent life again. I try not to but sometimes my mind wonders and I think "What if I had died that night?" The thought brings me zero comfort. I know I shouldn't want to die. At the time it might have worked, but now that Sam and Dean are back in my life it would be completely selfish of me. They need me now more than ever especially because of Dean.

Lately Sam and I have noticed that Dean hasn't fully been himself. Of course Sam tries to blow it off, but I can tell something isn't right.

"I'm gonna miss you while I'm gone", Dean whispered leaning his forehead against mine.

"You'll be fine, just like always. You and Sam will find the monster, kill it, and save the day like always", I responded meeting my lips with Dean's. As we slowly kissed, I heard a shuffling from the kitched and heard Sam grunt to let us know he was now in the room. Quickly Dean and I broke apart. I smiled sheepishly as my cheeks turned red. Sam just rolled his eyes and handed Dean and I the sandwiches he made and walked over to the chair to eat his own sandwich.

When Sam found out about me and Dean, nothing really changed. Mostly because Sam knew it would happen eventually. But Dean and I try to spare Sam the PDA, me more than Dean who seems to enjoy flaunting me around whenver Sam is near. I will never understand their wierd relationship.

"So have you figured out what it is we are hunting?", Dean asked Sam as he took a bite out of his sandwich.

"Bobby says demons, which I guess makes sense since we let out a ton of them", Sam replied.

"I still don't understand why you guys solely blame yourselves for that. You do realized a very powerful demon and his prodigy started that whole thing", I argued.

"More like I started it and was unable to properly finish it", Sam added.

I rolled my eyes. One thing about the Winchesters is that they always blame themselves. No matter what the situation is.

"Where is this hunt?", I ask curiously.

"Some small town in Nebraska", Sam answers.

I let out a sigh of relief. At least the boys won't be too far away. "I wish I could come with you guys", I complained.