Tortured Souls

Chapter 11

I woke up with Dean's arm draped over my side. I carefully eased my way from his grasp before tiptoeing over to my dufle bag and the stuff Dean and I unpacked from it.

It was still dark out, so I knew I had time before anyone else woke up. Quickly I packed as much as I could into my duffle being sure to take my cell phone and all weapons I deemed necessary. So all of them.

Once I finished packing I looked over at Dean. He looked so peaceful and calm. Just looking at him made what I was about to do a lot harder. I knelt down beside him and kissed his forehead before heading downstairs. As I walked past the living room I heard wood creaking. I quickly glanced into the living room and saw a silouhette of someone. I stepped closer to get a better look.

"Bobby?"

"Finally decided to leave did you?", he asked.

"Bobby, I have to do this. I just have to. I wish there was another option for me"

"I getchya kid. But just know that Dean really and I mean really cares for you, so does Sam. Thing is Dean isn't so easy to forgiving people", Bobby explained.

"I know, but he has his problems and I have mine. Can you just tell him that I'm sorry?"

"You know I can't do that kid. You can't put that on me", Bobby argued.

"Alright....Thanks for everything Bobby", as I began to walk out the door, I heard a clashing of metal hit the floor by my feet. I looked down and picked up a pair of keys. I turned to look at Bobby.

"It's the red pick up truck at the end of driveway", he simply stated.

I nodded giving Bobby a gracious smile before turning on my heels to head out.

I practically ran to the truck. I refused to look back in fear that I would change my mind.

I revved the engine and soon was off heading down the road. Unable to think clearly I decided to turn on the radio to blast out all other thoughts running through my head. "Thunderstruck" by AC/DC came on. I turned it up full volume trying to keep one particular thought out of my head. I wasn't even going to say his name.

I drove for hours on end before stopping at a motel for the night. As I walked up to the lobby desk I couldn't help but feel a terrible deja vu. As I handed the man my fake ID and fake credit card I thought back to life before the Winchesters. Before I met them, I never realized how lonely of a life I actually had. Never once had I been able to fully rely on someone until the Winchesters.

"Excuse me ma'am", the man behind the counter exclaimed. Apparently I had spaced out a little too much. "Your credit card account appears to be empty"

"Oh right sorry", I reached my hand into my jacket pocket to get some cash. As I pulled out the huge wad I began to smile. It was the cash I had won from beating Dean in poker. I remember Sam complaining that Dean was helping me win. Of course I doubted it because that was when Dean was acting different and I didn't know how he felt about me. But thinking back on it, it made a load of sense.

I handed the man the amount he needed and grabbed my room key.

Walking into my one bed motel room I began to feel empty. I would spend the night alone with no one to sleep beside me. No one to wake me up in the morning with a cheesy joke. I had no one.

Once I was for ready for bed I got under the covers and tried to force myself to sleep. I was saved momentarily by a buzzing on my phone. I looked at the caller ID and saw Dean's name.

I couldn't bring myself to answer the phone. It was the one person I couldn't talk too. I would not allow myself to get distracted. Besides Dean was better off without me. I pressed the end button before resting my head on my pillows again. Now I knew I wasn't going to get any sleep. I made a note to myself to buy some sleeping pills for the rough nights ahead and possibly some alcohol for the rough days ahead.