Drowsiness

Darling carmen

'Wow, is that a hardback or are you just happy to see me?'

Slowly, Violet looked up from her book to see Sebastian leaning over her with a shit eating grin, his head practically resting on her shoulder. He raised his eyebrows at her to stop her long, aggravated stare, and then out of nowhere, she laughed loudly.

'What a line, Radcliffe.'

'I'm more like Heathcliff for you.'

'How on earth is that a good thing?' She gave one of her famous half smiles.

They had been sitting together in English for a long enough time now that he knew all her ticks. Well, the ones the public were privy to anyway, and it also took quite a lot of staring at her at meals and house meetings, and staring in general in fact, but now he knew.

Violet did not smile often, and when she did, they were usually shallow, polite smiles that were so disingenuous that she may as well not have bothered. He thought maybe she knew she had this effect and used it to emphasise how little she gave a shit.

And she didn't give a shit, about anything. She didn't make friends with anyone. She didn't smile or laugh with people. She stayed in her room or the library and only ventured into the common room occasionally. She rarely raised her hand and she never responded to any of the taunting boys or gossiping girls. She never held her head low.

There were the half smiles of course, the ones that made Sebastian feel like a God. The ones that told him he was genuinely funny, though she shouldn't laugh often. The kind of smile that, for just a second, gave a hint of something unidentifiable to her cold eyes. And only Sebastian ever really saw these little smiles.

Not that she didn't have a sense of humour. She was very dry and very quick and it was frustrating she didn't speak more often. Most of English was dominated by Sebastian chatting and asking her questions while she ignored him easily or forced him to work. Sebastian did notice though that this year, Miss Blake was asking the class to work in pairs significantly more and he thought, 'bless this woman'.

On one dreaded Monday morning, she handed everyone back essays. Sebastian's read 'E' with a comment asking him to respectfully do his work and stop being distracted by Charlie Caulfield, lest she tell their house mistress. When she caught his eye, and gave him a stern look, both ending up grinning. They both knew that if he put in more than 20 minutes rushed work, he would be a great student. They also knew no such thing would happen.

He looked slyly (hardly) over Violet's shoulder.

'A*, core, well done.'

'Oh,' she said blushing and hiding the paper, 'thank you.'

'That was a hard paper. You did good.'

'Ha. No I just-'

'Violet's essay focused on totalitarianism in 1984, with brilliant comparisons to other post-modern dystopia's,' Miss Blake added as she made her way around.

'What the hell is totalit...' he trailed off.

'It just means a government that has complete control over every aspect of society.'

'Wow, I never knew I was sat next to a bloody genius here.'

'I'm not!' she said, a little pink in the cheeks that was so endearing he knew he'd be trying to embarrass her forever 'I just read a lot,'

'You're just clever.'

'Oh my lord I'm not. I'm literally the dumbest person in this room. Seriously don't listen to me.'

He stared at her like she was mad, which to him, she was. To a cocky, slightly egotistical guy such as himself, someone everyone looked to, the embarrassment at being thought of as clever was ludicrous to him.

'Why are you here?' she asked him quietly as they packed their bags at the end of the lesson.

'Well, see, school is basically-'

'No, I mean Millfield in particular.'

'Army brat. You?'

She gave another of her sad, pained looks, then the pathetic, polite smile.

'Just a brat.' She said before leaving.

Violet was a puzzle, yes, but Sebastian was good with puzzles. He liked a puzzle. One day in philosophy, she talked about desire. She said it was the most important element of man, because we could do anything with desire; that's all it took to rule the world. He had stared at her the rest of that lesson, her slightly parted lips and the curls that shook when she moved her head. The way she said that word, slightly quieter than everything else, slightly huskier, he could have died. Violet Adler felt desire, he thought. He never knew. Moreover, such a thought made her just as uncomfortable as him. She bowed her head as she did when she was avoiding something and she shied away from eye contact. It took him a whole week to get over this.

There was a similar incident. At lunch, Sebastian was sat on a small wall above where the grounds started. The school had huge grounds; two tennis courts next to two netball courts next to a field next to a golf course, all in a vast line. He had run the length of it once in a bet and it rated as the most painful bet he'd ever partaken in. Last year they had usually just sat in the common room all of lunch, but since Violet sat on the lawn, he had convinced the group to come out too. He'd been play wrestling with JJ; they'd rolled down the hill while the others cheered and then grew bored watching since it went on so long. Violet watched with her eyebrows raised. His heart beat as it always did when she watched him, though it hurt because she only ever looked at him when he went out of his way to get her attention.

'This lot are always so boisterous,' Sophie yelled over to Violet kindly, rolling her eyes at the display.

'I don't mind boisterous, but I'd say they're more obnoxious,'

'You don't mind boisterous? Please.' JJ said to her even more obnoxiously. He was never outright mean to her or even behind her back, but he was awfully sarcastic. Sebastian knew that he didn't know her though, he just held a grudge about her brother. JJ was always holding a grudge.

'I don't. I can be boisterous. I can!' She added as Sophie, JJ and Sebastian all burst out laughing.

'Well now you definitely don't get to witness it,' She said coolly and JJ pulled Sebastian away.