The Fault in Our Shooting Stars

Chapter 2: The Start of Our Journey

Gallavich AU: The Fault in Our Stars

Chapter Two: The Start of Our Journey

So the room was full of regulars, plus the two newcomers. Patrick opened up by telling us about Sandy, she’d been coming ever since I’ve been here and now she had finally finished her journey.

Fuck I hate that expression.

‘Journey,’ like we’re on some magical spiritual quest or something. Well, we’re not. We get stuck in this cancer void where time stands still because we are so limited in what we can do. Doctor’s appointments and chemo and being so sick you can't even move some days and so a week feels like forever, or having a good few days where you can walk around and maybe feel like you did before your diagnosis, and it only feels like a few hours.

So yeah, maybe it is a fucking journey, but I feel like that word was meant for greater things.

I wasn’t really sad for Sandy, the girl knew it was coming and so did we, I think she was kind of ready for it in some really sad way. She was in a lot of pain and on a lot of meds – I mean I’m on a lot of meds but she basically lived on the things.

Patrick had us bow our heads for a moment to ‘wish her well on her next chapter in heaven’ and I had to close my eyes so that I wouldn’t roll them with the exasperation of it all.

After that was done, we moved on to how the rest of us were doing.

I hate that expression too.

‘So how are you doing?’ Well, I’m a sixteen – almost seventeen – year old kid with terminal fucking cancer. Yeah, I’m doing fucking peachy.

I had resisted the urge to look over at the new guy until now, and I really have no self-control anyway so even that was a stretch. I was sat back in my chair, my arms folded over my chest, and I turned my head only just to the side to look.

He was hunched over, elbows resting on his knees and tapping one of his feet. He looked like he really didn't want to be there. The girl he came with seemed to really be listening to Patrick, clearly she hasn’t heard all this shit a million times over. The two of them had the same pale skin and dark hair, probably siblings.

He had a sweet face, albeit rough around the edges, he looked like he could probably kill me if he wanted to. Then again, most people do, but you get the gist. His shoulders sloped downwards and he had a strong frame, I kind of wish I’d watched him as he walked away before.

He let out a big sigh and looked up, catching my eye and doing a double take. He narrowed his eyes at me and for a second I didn't break, but I lost my nerve and stared down at my hands. How long after someone catches you staring at them – for the second time – is it acceptable to look up again?

Screw it, I thought as I looked back up again. His eyes were still on me and this time he cocked an eyebrow.

‘What?’ he seemed to say.

I opened my mouth as if to reply, even though Patrick was still giving us some kind of spiel about Jesus and how all he wants is for us all to be – whatever, I don’t care. I opened my mouth and closed it again quickly, turning away and pulling my beanie further down over my forehead.