Bright lights, black tights

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It’s a saying: Everything in life is temporary. So if things are going good, enjoy it because it won’t last forever. And if things are going bad, don’t worry. It can’t last forever either.

It has been my saying. It has been a thing that kept me going in my life. People looked up to me, because I had the perfect family, the perfect friends, the perfect home. People looked up to me, just so they could have hope for themselves. But little did they know that I had my own problems. I still have my own problems. I’m a goddamn teenager for god’s sake. You can’t expect somebody to be perfect for you. You can't expect somebody to live your dreams for you. I didn't and that's what kept me going, I will fight my own battles and I will conquer them all.

Every little obstacle I had in my life prepared me for my big one, my first love and my first heartbreak. It all started this summer, just a little accident  can ruin a person’s life and make a person stronger.

~Three months ago. ~ 

Plop plop plop plop plop. 

My heart was adjusting to the beat of the coffee maker. Every time when a drop fell into the arms of the other coffee drops my heart was pumping blood through my veins. It was the boredom that took every simple thought I could have and made it into a complicated essay. It made me focus on the little things in live, the one that you put away and don't ever look back at because they are just not important enough.

"Do you think this looks good on me? I don't really know if it's something for me." My sister was trying on all sorts of wedding dresses and she wasn't satisfied with the most beautiful dresses this store could ever offer.

My mum was ready to open her mouth when the shop assistant stepped forward looking stunned, I knew it was fake cause every time my sister had put on a dress she would give the exact same face.

"It's stunning and it brings out your perfect figure quite well." The woman was waving around with her arms dramatically at my sister. I must say she was a pretty good actress, I mean if you could see this dress you would throw up instantly.

"Uhm i don't know sweetie." My mum's eyes shot up and down and left and right, it was clearly she didn't want to say something that would hurt Catherine’s feelings. That's how Mum rolls, she is very afraid of losing her daughters and tries her best to make good memories. 

"Belle?" Catherine's questioning face turned right to me followed by the happy face from the shop assistant. Catherine knew I would tell the truth I always did, that's maybe a bad thing because I always said what was on my mind and sometimes that hurt people. I on the other hand really didn't care, the people I loved were used to hearing my awfully hurtful truth.

"Are you serious." I turned my face towards the shop assistant as I put on a shocked face. Before she could respond I turned back to the dress.

"It looks like you're going to marry a dead man and have a wedding and funeral at the same time." I was now acting like the shop assistant waving my hands dramatically up and down towards the dress. It really was disgusting I mean why in god’s name would you marry in a black dress? I looked at the shop assistant whose mouth formed a big O shape but didn't make any sound.

I saw Catherine turning around and nodding at herself. 

"Yeah you're right, next dress." She stormed off of the platform into the changing room.

"I think it's time for you to leave sweetie pie." My mum said to me half looking at the still shocked shop assistant, somewhere in my mums sentence I saw the woman's face turn into a furious face, the one your best friend give you when she heard that you kissed her crush. Not that I have any experience in that area. I nodded to my mum smiling at the woman. 

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