Just Wait » Boyf Riends

I'm Going To Go Jump In a Well

  "Don't worry, honey, you don't have to go back—"

  "No, I'll go visit him again tomorrow."

  I watch as my mom almost chokes on her own saliva, "I-I'm sorry, what? But I thought it went badly?"

  "Yeah, but like, Jeremy laughed once or twice during it, and he's probably going through a tough time right now, and yeah, maybe I did a bit more harm than good, but hey! He was happy for a few seconds. Maybe if I can do that more often and be less of an asshole while doing it, it'll make him a feel a bit better or something."

  My mom opens her mouth to retort, but closes it again, grinning at me, "Michael, you're a sweet kid, you really are," she ruffles my hair, "You can go back to you room, but come back down in five minutes, then I'll give you some lunch."

  I nod, making my way to my room and taking my phone out at the same time. As I plop down on my bed, my finger hovers over Chloe's contact. I mean, I feel like Jeremy kinda feels like shit at the moment. And Chloe and Jeremy are best friends right? Maybe if I just tell her to make sure he's okay...

As the phone rings, I can feel regret bubble in me. Fuck, Chloe's going to yell at me.

"Hello?" I heard a voice from the other side.

"Uh, hey Chloe..."

"Oh hey Michael, what the fuck, I haven't heard from you in like a week!" I could practically hear her smile through the speaker, "What's up?"

I laugh awkwardly, "Uhhh, are you busy with anything at the moment?"

"I'm doing my make-up, but I can still talk while doing it, and it's almost done anyway, yadda yadda, so yeah."

I suck the air through my teeth, "You and Jeremy are like besties, right?"

There was a silence from the other side of the call, before she spoke up again: "You haven't talked about Jeremy in like three years, damn," I can hear something, probably her setting spray, fall onto the floor in the background, "Why the sudden interest?"

I chuckle nervously, "Ah, yeah..." I bite my lip anxiously, "Uh, he has cancer..."

"I know?" She says unsurely, like she's trying to deduce my entire life story from that short three word sentence I just said, "Oh my god, Michael, don't tell me you're gonna hang out with a cancer patient just to get some sympathy points from your classmates. That's majorly fucked—"

"Yeah, I know it's majorly fucked, but that's not what I'm doing, ya silly bitch," I try to lighten up the mood, and it seems to help at least a bit, as I can hear Chloe breathe a sigh of relief.

"Okay, yeah suuure," she says jokingly.

I roll my eyes, "Uh, okay... so, uh... I visited him today, okay?"

"Holy shit."

"And it did not go well."

"Holy fucking shit."

I can practically hear how offended she is, "Look, I know you care about Jeremy a lot, I didn't mean to be rude to him, I just—uh, I was trying to be nice, it just, uh, didn't go well."

"Oh my god, you moron," she spat, "Of course, it didn't fucking go well!" I heard her smack something off her table by accident, probably because of her frantic hand gestures, "Last time you talked to Jerm four years ago you made him cry, you humiliated him in front of the entirety of the seventh grade kids, you made him lose like 80% of his self-esteem, and all your dumb ass had to do was talk to his dumb ass!"

"It's not that easy—"

"And you two could've been fine and dandy, you two bastards could've been friends, but noooo," she did an overdramatic impression of me, "I'm Michael! Look at me! I didn't listen to Chloe when she said I should've let Jeremy off easily four years ago, because I'm a dumbass! You prick."

"Jesus fucking Christ, dude," I sighed, "Can we have like one conversation about Jeremy without you being snarky about it? There's a reason I stopped talking about him three years ago, it's because I knew you were just gonna make me feel like shit for it."

"Well, maybe if you hadn't been a massive dickbag then maybe I wouldn't have to be snarky, Michael."

"Yuh-huh, I'm an okay guy who did a douchebag thing, I get it, we've talked about this a thousand times, you can lecture me about it later, but you need to listen to me right now," I rambled, "The whole point is that I might have made Jeremy cry... again."

"Again."

"I'm sorr—"

"Are you fucking serious?"

"Okay! Yes! I know! Me = Dumbass, shut up! I know! But please, just go check on him, I don't want him to feel like shit for the rest of the day just because I said a stupid thing."

"Okay, fine, just know that Jeremy doesn't need you anymore, okay? He got over you. Leave him alone. Don't drag him back in. This is the last thing he needs right now."

"Uh, so, uhm... when you see him? Can you just say I'm sorry."

"If you want to say sorry to Jeremy, then you better fucking say it yourself. I'm not your messenger fairy, dude. You need to get shit done."

I mutter: "Yeah, okay."

"Alright, okay, I'll go check on him, but just know I'm doing this for Jeremy and not you, 'cuz fuck you."

"Fuck me indeed."

I heard Chloe sigh from the other side of the call, "Listen dude, you're like on my list of Top 3 Nicest Guys I Know, and I'm being genuine when I say that," she says slowly, and I almost awh and then I realized that a 'but' quickly followed, "But what is it with your inability to be nice to Jeremy, what the fuck, man?"

"Uhhh, excuse me," I'm glad we got back into joking territory, so I know she isn't too mad at me, "I was nice to him for three years!"

"Yeah, yeah, suuuure," I could feel her eyes roll into the back of her head all the way from here, "I'm gonna go make sure you didn't give Jeremy an aneurysm, seeya dude."

"Thanks, bye."

She hangs up, and I feel better.

Nor good, but better.

Because at least Jeremy won't feel like shit for the rest of the day, at least Chloe isn't entirely mad at me, and at least some of my dignity is intact.

I think back to what Chloe said for a minute: "He got over you. Leave him alone. Don't drag him back in. This is the last thing he needs right now."

And that seems logical, doesn't it? But for some reason I still felt the obligation to go visit him anyway. I mean, technically if I visit him tomorrow, I can blame it on Chloe, because she said I should apologize to him myself, and what better way to apologize than face to face, right?

Yeah. I can do that.