Dream of Having an Artistic Life

Part 2 - How I Got My Guitar

About 15 years ago - 1997

"Ma!"

"Yes, my darling"

"I want to play guitar!"

"A guitar?"

"Yes, I like it so much. There are three boys playing lead guitar in my class and it is so cool!" My mother looked at me in a way questioning if I really meant to play it or it was just the idea of being a rock star someday made me enthusiastic about it right now.

"Wouldn't it be nice if you buy a classical guitar rather than a lead guitar?"

I was astonished with the answer of my mother. I thought she had no idea about guitars, but she was standing there and giving me advice which one to buy and which one not to. Really weird.

"You know, when I was a child, my elder sister had a classical guitar. She had some private lessons from a friend of your grandfather. I sometimes had the chance to play it myself, when my sister wasn't playing it."

I was really shocked at that moment. She had a guitar. She knew how to play guitar. That was something I didn't have any idea of. Do you have these moments that you think you know everything about someone but actually what you know is the peak of an iceberg? I felt just like that at that moment, wanted to learn more about the "musical career" of my mother. And somewhere in my mind I was truly pleased by the fact that maybe I had the artistic blood of my mother running in my veins that increases the possibility of me being an artist in the future.

I started asking questions about this part of my mother's life that was new to me.

"So what were you playing when you were young? Did you quit playing after you got married? How good were you at playing it? What was the brand of your guitar?" I seemed not to stop as my mother dived into my questions:

"Well, one question at a time, please" smiled my mother with honour. At that moment I realised that she was very pride and happy to be questioned by me about her past that was like a black box to me.

"I was actually not very good at playing the guitar considering that I didn't get any private lessons. I also didn't have any idea how to read the notes and chords. What I was doing was just positioning the guitar in my hands, singing the song that I want to play in a low-voice, and then starting playing the guitar trying to catch the right note. You gotta start from somewhere if you want to play an instrument, right?"

I couldn't take my eyes off my mother while she was explaining her experience with that magical instrument.

"So, I was learning by myself, exploring through the notes, finding the correct rhythm. It was like I was in an ocean trying to figure out to swim and letting myself into the waves. The waves take you wherever they want to take you and the stream of the music is just like the waves in the ocean, once you get into the stream it lets you to make a journey through the song you want to play."

I was mesmerized with my mother's descriptive explanation about playing an instrument. That is it, I should buy a guitar!

"The songs I was playing were the popular songs at seventies, mostly Turkish songs. Some of them are still very popular nowadays. I actually didn't quit playing it, I only wasn't that passionate about it that after leaving my family home when I got married, I didn't buy one for me. As the years passed by, I didn't even have a need or time for that instrument while raising you and your sister. In fact, I totally forgot about it until you pop up with the idea of buying a lead guitar."

"Ma, with what you explained about the journey you took with that instrument years ago, I am now more passionate about playing a guitar. I wasn't sure if I could ever manage to play it when I came with that idea but now I believe I can cope with that. Maybe we can establish a band together, who knows?"

"You are such a stargazer, you know that, right?" she smiled, while she was heading to the kitchen. I know it was end of our talk. Now that I got confirmation from my mum, I should go to my dad to talk about the financial aspect of the matter. With the savings I have been putting aside for a couple of years I couldn't afford buying the kind of guitar that I desired.  

My dad was always a supportive one. As long as my school notes are in good level, he wouldn't reject any idea I came up with that would add value to my skills. I was always coming with lots of new ideas to my dad, and he was used to them. When I said to my dad about my passion about guitar, he just gave me a bright smile:

"I had been wondering what your next passion would be, as it has been a long time since you asked for something. I started thinking that now you are growing to a beautiful young woman, your priorities would have been changed."

Oh, again, we were starting the kind of talks I always tried to avoid. Not to mention that my cheeks got blushed.

"Dad, please, I'm still your girl and my priorities didn't change, don't worry. Can we stick to the subject we were talking about? Can we buy a guitar?"

"Yeah, why not, how much would it cost then? 50 Liras (30 Dollars) maybe?"

"Oh dad, please be reasonable, I don't want to play it only to myself, I want to play in a band. I should buy something better than that. Come on. I have already asked my keen friends who informed me about the brands, types and price range of the guitars." By that time the internet was very new and I didn't even have a computer yet. They were the days, when you needed information, you went directly to the source of it, not typing the keywords in Google and clicking the search button. You really had to make an effort to reach the information you seek.

"It looks like you already know what you are talking about. Just name me the price and let's go tomorrow to the music shop. I am sure, you already know where we will be going tomorrow."

This phrase was actually very important, it was describing what kind of a personality I have. I was always a very determined person when I was enthusiastic for something. I would do anything to achieve it. But when I am done with the idea or not interested for that thing anymore, then I would forget about it very quickly like it did never happen. Those were the days I was very tempted by the idea of being a successful guitarist and rock star that I couldn't think any other thing than that.

You should have seen the big smile on my face when I finally got my lead guitar from one of the music shops in the city center of Ankara. I insisted on buying a lead guitar instead of a classical one which my mother recommended me to buy because I was thrilled with the lead guitars my friends had those days. And of course the classical guitar was not very popular in the nineties.