Hatred

Chapter 4

It's been a week since I talked to Andy, after we talked he keeps trying to ring me but I just let it ring out and go to voicemail, he's text me begging me to go back home but I just delete the messages straight away.

My aunt Nessie says I should talk to him and tell him how I feel but I can't because he's with Juliet but she says if he loves me he won't fall out with me, but I don't want to risk losing him.

Today I have my 5 month scan, I'm scared in case something goes wrong and they tell me I wasn't pregnant to start with because I saw a programme where that happened to a woman who had been trying for a baby for 15 years but she still wasn't pregnant.

When I arrive at the hospital I sit on my own since I wanted to do this by myself, I know most people might have someone with them, so that if something bad does happen they have someone to support them, but me I like to be on my own when something bad happens, I guess that's why I've been strong all these years on my own.

When the doctor calls my name I take deep breaths as I walk towards her, when I get into her office she tells me to lay down on the hospital bed and says 'how far along are you' I said 'about 5 months I think' she nodded and went and got some gel substance from her desk and said 'this might be a little but cold' I just nodded and laid back, after she had put the gel on she turned to the monitor and said 'you have a healthy little baby there' I smiled and said 'when will I get to know what the sex is' she smiled and said 'today if you want' I just smiled and nodded, she turned back to the monitor and said 'it's a baby boy' I giggled and said 'I bet his dad will be proud' the nurse smiled and said 'where is his daddy' I sighed and said 'we're not together and he's in America' she smiled sadly and said 'you love him don't you' I sighed and said 'more than anything, but he has a girlfriend and he doesn't see me more than a best friend, that's why I moved back to London, just so I wouldn't have to watch him love her the way I love him' she smiled sadly and said 'when I first met my husband he was with the girl who used to make my life a living hell, but then when he realized what she was like he proteted me everytime she or someone else said something nasty to me and for 4 months we was best friends before he finally asked me to be together and then 9 months into our relationship we found out I was pregnant and we got married and we've been married for 10 years now, so don't ever give up on someone you love because something good might come out of waiting for him' I smiled and said ' I don't think Andy and I will ever be married, he loves Juliet too much and plus he's in Black Veil Brides, he's famous what is he going to want to be with someone like me for' she chuckled and said 'I take it you haven't heard then' I frowned and said 'heard what' she giggled and said 'Andy broke up with her because he's in love with his best friend, I'm assuming you're the best friend he goes on about in the interviews' I frowned and said 'when did they break up' she said 'he says the day he broke up with Juliet was the day the love of his life and best friend packed up and left his sorry ass behind in LA' I chuckled and said ' I should go' she smiled and hugged me goodbye and kissed me gently on the cheek and said 'don't ever give up your dreams' I smiled and said 'I won't'.

When I got home I went onto Andy's Instagram and saw a lot of pictures of me and him, but one stood out it was of me and him when we was on our date, I was stood on my tiptoes and we was kissing and he had his arms wrapped firmly around my waist and the caption underneath said 'This day will always be my best memory this girl meant the world to me, but now she's moved back home, maybe one day she'll come back to me, but for now I just want you to know Amber if you are reading this I love you and I always will maybe one day we will raise our child together like we talked about, maybe we will get married or maybe we will never meet again and if we don't please don't forget about me <3 xx'.

After I finished reading the caption I liked it and stole the picture and put it on my Instagram with the caption 'I remember this day it was one of the best days of my life and even when I'm old and forgetful this will be the one day that will stay with me, this guy means the world to me and the only reason I left my best friend behind was because this kiss meant more to me than anything and I thought maybe it meant nothing to him, I'm still not sure if it does mean anything to him, but when I saw this on his was Instagram I realized it must have meant at least something to him , @andybvb if you are reading this know that I will return home one day but for now I need my family, maybe one day we will be reunited but for now just know that I love you and I will not ever forget you, Love you boo <3 xx'.

After I logged out of Instagram I text Andy saying 'I'm coming home xx', he text me straight away saying 'what day? Xx', I text him back saying 'tomorrow xx' after I sent my text I packed my bags and wrote my dad a letter saying 'hey daddy, I'm sorry we didn't get to see each other before I left but I have to leave, something came up, love from Ambs xx'.

At the airport

When I got to the airport I gave my bag to the woman at the desk to check and I checked my suitcase in.

As I sat and waited for my plane to be announced I texted Andy saying 'I'm at the airport see you when I get home, hopefully xx', he text straight back saying 'text me when you get her love you boo xx' I text 'will do love you too boo xx', after texting him for a while it's finally time to board the plane so I turn my phone off until the plane sets off again.