In Between Days: Raising Jordan (boyxman)✅

You Outta Know

And Jordan was making breakfast for Jamie? I never thought I'd see this in my lifetime. Jordan Cameron doing something for someone else.

"Good morning," I said, but he didn't hear me over his music, so I poked his shoulder to get his attention. Even as I waved good morning to him, he barely reacted to me, which wasn't that atypical.

A tray sat on the kitchen counter so I knew he planned on bringing breakfast up to Jamie. Who knew he could be so thoughtful, so romantic like that time he picked a sunflower for him. I never taught him anything because no one taught me anything. I more or less raised myself. The only thing Art did was was give me a book all about puberty, adolescence, sex, and all that stuff, which I handed down to Jordan. Jordan wasn't exactly the easiest person to talk to and I wasn't even sure he had the capacity to understand it all. One thing that was noticeably missing from the book was same sex relationships, therefore there was no mention of gay sex. I would never have even thought about it.

When did he discover he was gay? Was he gay or just totally infatuated with my gorgeous yet immature thirty year old friend? If he realized he was gay, how did he deal with it? He could never cope with anything. I wanted to know these things, but didn't know how to address it with him. Never once did I think to have a man to man sex talk with Jordan. Maybe I never thought he'd have sex, certainly not with a man.

Jamie. Fucking Jamie...you fucking liar...My thoughts were all over the place. Should I throw him out on his ass? No. I couldn't do that. That would crush Jordan.

What exactly did Jamie think he'd accomplish by getting involved with an innocent, naive, inexperienced, and fucked up nineteen year old boy who spent most of his time at home for a reason? There were plenty of good reasons why Jordan didn't live on campus and took all online courses. Maybe he was ready to take classes on campus, but I knew what could possibly happen if it didn't work out. I didn't want Jordan to have to go through that again. I didn't want him to fail.

What could a thirty year old and nineteen year old possibly have in common? Not only that, Jamie was leaving for England the end of August. Change was always hard for Jordan. I wasn't sure how he'd handle this.

What the fuck, Jamie?

No one ever made breakfast in bed for me. Jealousy resurfaced. Still, I wasn't going to let on I knew anything, burying my jealousy and anger and irritability for the time being.

"Are you making breakfast for Jamie?" I innocently asked. He shrugged. Turning slightly toward me, I spotted a mark on his shoulder. I had seen these types of marks on Jamie, too, and it wasn't just because Jordan was annoyed and bit him. "Breakfast in bed?" He didn't answer. "You never made me breakfast in bed." I teased him.

"And why would I do that?" He finally spoke.

"I don't know," I said. "Why would you, right? What are you going to do today?" I asked as he spooned the scrambled eggs onto two plates. "Besides laundry? You know it's Saturday, right?"

"I know," he said. "Should I go see Mom?"

"It's up to you," I said. "You were pretty upset the last time you went. What does Jamie want to do today?" He shrugged. "Maybe you should ask him."

"Yeah, okay," he said.

"Did you sleep okay with Jamie in your room?" I was just waiting for him to say something...anything. Neither of them would disclose anything to me. He didn't respond, but blushed instead. Before this summer, I'd never seen him blush in my entire life. Before this summer, I had never seen him do a lot of things. "Does he snore?" He smiled instead of answering.

"Do you think I made them right?" he said, referring to the eggs. "Jamie showed me how to make omelets, but they're too hard for me so..." Jamie showed him how to make omelets?

"It looks right," I said. "It smells good."

Smiling, he left the kitchen to surprise his boyfriend with breakfast in bed. And Art really didn't have to tell me he caught them naked in the pool, hugging and kissing. Art thought he was telling me something I didn't know, like I was at fault for letting "something like this" happen. Art was just trying to get a rise out of me, a reaction of some sort to prove I fucked up with Jordan and I was the reason he was the way he was. Well, if he's gay, I definitely had nothing to do with that, not like I thought there was anything wrong with it. Art was great at pointing out our faults, particularly mine in regards to all the issues Jordan has had over the years...like I was actually the parent. Fuck you, Art. When Art told me what he saw, I played it cool and said, "They're adults," while deep down I was seething with anger at all three of them: Art, Jordan, and Jamie. I already knew there was something going on between them, I just didn't need it thrown in my face. I had a hard time picturing my baby brother in the arms of another man. I cringed at times thinking about it. Even though he was almost twenty, I still thought of him as a little kid.

I knew I had to let him go, that was something Kelly told me nearly every other day.

The first time I realized there was something going on between Jamie and Jordan was the day Jordan pushed Jamie in the pond. Jordan ran into the house after him apologizing profusely, which was not in his character to do. On top of that, he returned later with a bite mark on his shoulder and I knew that wasn't just a bruise surrounding it. He didn't even get upset when Jamie flung a carrot at him. The old Jordan would have thrown his entire plate at him in retaliation. Jordan was full of such remorse at the time he didn't dare, like he thought he deserved the carrot thrown in his face.

Jamie Perron. That ass hole better not break his heart.

While I sat down at the kitchen table, Art made an appearance. He made himself a cup of coffee and sat down across from me.

"What's the boy up to today?" he asked. "Jordie" and "the boy," those were the words he used to refer to Jordan. "You're not going to let him stay up there with that man all day, are you?"

"Who's idea was it for Jamie to sleep in Jordan's room?" I said.

"I thought you'd be a man and put your foot down," he said.

"Jordan's not my son," I said. "It's too late now, anyway. He's too happy and he's never happy...like you would know." With my cup of coffee, I got up to go back upstairs. "He's not staying in that room all day. We're going to see Mom."

Maybe Jordan would say something to me during that long car ride to the group home. I knocked loudly on his bedroom door. After a few minutes, Jordan opened the door, stepping into the hallway, closing the door behind him.

"I'm going to take you to see Mom today," I said. "I haven't seen her in awhile and to tell you the truth, I have to get away from you know who." He didn't say anything, but his brow furrowed, a sign he wasn't happy. "Don't worry. Jamie will be here when you return." Again, not saying anything, he returned to his room. "We'll leave around noon time."