Caught (Camren)

•21•

"Oh," she nodded. "That's...uh..."

"Really shitty," I chuckled. "Really, really shitty."

She picked up her chair and brought it around the side of the table to sit next to me rather than across from me, placing her hand on top of mine and squeezing supportively. I pulled away, not used to anyone's touch besides Lauren's, but flashed her a grateful smile instead.

"I'm sorry for accusing you of cheating on Lauren," she apologized. "You know, while we're on this subject and everything."

"It's okay," I assured her. "I'm not really surprised. I haven't ever taken anyone seriously besides her."

"How long have you been together?"

"Almost four months," I answered. "It doesn't seem like a long time but they've been the best four months of my life, and now I'm worried that they're going to be over."

"I doubt she's going to break up with you, Camila," she told me. "I saw the way she looked at you like you're her entire world. You just hit a rough patch, that's all."

"I don't know," I sighed. "I guess I'm just afraid to lose her."

Sam stood up from her chair and pushed it back under the table noisily, patting my back and stepping back around the side to retrieve her belongings.

"You know what you need? A distraction," she told me. "You just need to get your mind off of everything."

I stared at her blankly for a moment, not sure whether to act on her suggestion or not. It seemed strange to me to be open with someone and have them brush it off after speaking deeply with Lauren for so many months. She always listened, made sure the problem was taken care of before moving on to anything else. Sam seemed to have other motives, but she wasn't wrong.

"There's a party at one of the sororities tonight," she explained. "Tons of booze, tons of fun, tons of girls. You should come."

"I can't do that," I protested. "Lauren and I are still together, we're just not speaking."

"You're allowed to look, aren't you?"

"I guess," I nodded. "But that doesn't mean I want to."

"Camila, stop being a pain in the ass and come along," she begged. "Or you can go back to our room and sit on your bunk for the evening if you'd prefer."

I sighed and pushed myself out of my chair, joining Sam by her side and nodding in agreement. College parties weren't really my forte after what happened at the last one, but it was something to do at least. I knew it would be impossible to get Lauren off of my mind, but maybe if I was lucky, I could at least forget about the situation just for one night.

...

I could barely even hear myself think over the pounding music screaming through the sorority house. My head was on the verge of exploding after almost twenty-four hours without sleep, and the drunken college students around me weren't exactly helping. I forced myself to stay with Sam, though, meeting a few more of her friends and partaking in several party games. Alcohol never once touched my tongue and after about three hours of awkward conversations and spilled drinks, I was certain that I was the only sober one in the house.

"You don't look like you're having fun," Sam observed.

"I'm tired," I lied.

I was exhausted, but that wasn't the reason I couldn't enjoy myself. All the sounds, the lights, the drunken mistakes around me, it all reminded me of the four months leading up to that point and the decisions I'd made. I couldn't help but wonder all night if I'd made better choices, if I'd be surrounded by strangers or in the arms of my girlfriend. I wanted so badly to run back home and apologize until my throat was dry and my voice was gone, but it was too far. Lauren was still out of reach, and there was nothing I could do about it. I just wanted to hear her voice. I needed to know that I hadn't caused her any grief after leaving her behind so suddenly.