Missing Miranda

April 14

Dear Miranda,
April 14

Sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been really sick lately, puking my brains out every day.  It's not the stomach bug, the doctor says, it's too much emotion...?
I don't know what they're thinking with that diagnosis, but they explained it all to Dad in hushed voices soooo.... whatever.
I haven't spoken to Claira since she had her friends over three days ago. She's acting confused by my behavior, like she doesn't know what's wrong.
I got in an argument with a special depression therapist that came specifically to my house to see me yesterday. I'm not depressed! I keep telling them but they don't listen! Anyway, the conversation, er,
argument, went like this:

"Hello Rosabel," said Dr. Flora, shaking my hand gently. I hate when people don't shake your hand right.
"Hello," I responded sullenly.
"So, to get things started right off the bat, I would like to ask you to recount, in as much detail as you can, the occasion when your sister died," Dr. Flora scribbled something down in her notes, then looked up at me expectantly.
The last thing I want to do is tell the story over again to you, you little creep, I thought, but out loud I said, "Um, I think my Mom told you the whole story so I wouldn't have to..."
"Well, yes she did, but sweetie pie I want to hear it from you." Dr. Flora told me, with a sickeningly sweet smile.
"Ok...." I let out a breath, trying not to get any more pissed off. Was she for real?
"So, um, my sister was at this party, and-"
"What was her name?" Flora the Idiot interrupted.
"But you know her name..." I said, confused and definitely annoyed now.
"This is your story time! And in your story, I don't know her name." Flora the Brainless smiled with her sweet sweet smile again.
"Um, ok, my sister, MIRANDA, was at this party, and she went on this-"
"How old was Miranda when she died?" Flora the Stupid interrupted once again.
"She was 17" I said through gritted teeth.
"Ok, continue" she said again.
I will if you let me, you *****! I thought, but what actually came out of my mouth was the story, and mercifully, this time, she seemed to be done interrupting.
"Two months ago, my 17-year- old sister Miranda went to a party at her friend's house by a lake, it was a huge party, with people of all ages there. I was there too. The person hosting the party was Austin Gormen, a senior in my sister's class. Anyway, Miranda had fun all night, doing, well.....you know, the usual teen-party stuff.
At one o'clock in the morning, they all decided to go swimming, me included. I was behind my sister in line for the old rope swing. A few people went, and you had let go pretty far out, due to the rocks near the edge of the lake.
Well, then in was Miranda's turn. She swung out on the rope swing, and, and.."I swallowed, but the tears still came. Suddenly, I screamed, "And the shitty rope snapped! And my sister fell down to the rocks below, where she hit her head and got cut in her stomach and chest. She died almost instantly, in the water, before she could speak another goddam word!" And I was sobbing my heart out now.
"I'd suggest you pull yourself together young lady. It's doesn't do any good to cry." Said Flora the Useless sharply.
I stopped crying and stared up at her stupid stupid face for another second. Then I stood up.
"You know what? I'm done with you and your shit.  What type of goddam therapist are you?" And I sprinted out the door.

Miranda, I can't see it. The point of living without you. I can't see a future without you in it. I'm sorry.