Cliche (Lams)

Twenty Three

Alec Pov
I've been thinking about this for quite sometime. I've always thought I was bisexual but now I'm questioning that.

I think I've actually lost my romantic attraction for women completely.

Looking back on it there are times where I could've done shit with a girl but just decided not to.

I think...I'm gay.
No.
I know I'm gay.

I sat at the dinner table and stared at my plate. I still haven't told George anything. I'm almost certain Martha didn't do it for me.

But John said they were supportive to Laf when he said he was pan so it should go well.
Right?

"Hun? You going to eat?" Martha asked.

"W-what? Oh. No, I'm not hungry." I told her, getting up and excusing myself.

"Alec, sit down. Isn't there something you'd like to tell George?" She asked.

Oh thankss Martha.
How very subtle you are.

Laf and George looked confused.
I sat back down and stared at my plate. It's not that hard.

Just say, 'George, I'm gay.'
It's not that hard.
I clutched the chair and my knuckles started to turn white.

I didn't know my shoulders could get more tense then they already were.

"Alec?" George asked.
"Mhm?" I hummed.
"You going to...say anything?"
He asked.

"...Nah I think I'm not going to say anything. That seems like a good idea." I said nervously, and getting up again.

"Son," He said, gesturing for me to sit down.

I sat back down and sighed.
"What is it you need to tell me?"

Alright.
I'm alright.
It's just two easy words.
Mhm.

Fuck.
It's two extremely hard words.
Just say,
I'm gay
and leave.

Don't wait for a reaction, that way he can't get mad. I mean, he can but he won't be able to lash out on me or anything.

"Alec?" He asked.
I was quiet for a moment.

"I-...I'm gay." I choked.

Laf spat out his drink, coughing and quickly tried to wipe himself off. George stared at me, shocked.

I wanted to leave and to run but I was too mortified to do anything.

"A-and I have a date with a boy on Friday." I whispered, my eyes becoming glassy.
George was silent.

He looked down at his plate and said, "That's nice. What's the boys name?"

I couldn't tell if he was mad or not. "John Laurens." I said.

Laf spat out his drink again.

"He's gay?! I mean, I guess I always knew but he never really like did anything about it!
Dang! Really? John?" Laf exclaimed.

I nodded.
George stood up and left the room. Martha followed him.

"Do you think he's mad at me?" I asked.

"No, he's just shocked is all. He's not homophobic he just doesn't want people to discriminate you or be mean to you and it makes him scared that bad things will happen to you." Laf told me.

"Oh goodie." I muttered.

"I can't believe John actually- does his dad know?" Laf asked.

"I don't think so." I said.
Laf clicked his tongue and left to his room.

George came back into the dining room and sat down in front of me.

"So. You're gay." He stated.
"That's the rumor." I muttered.

"I'm going to try my very best to support you, and tell me if anyone is ever bothering you or if you just need to talk." He said.

Oh thank goodness.
A rush of relief ran through my body.
I can't believe it.

These people are the nicest people I've ever met.
I can't even describe it.

Maybe it's because nobody's ever tried to really help me except my mum and brother.

First they let me sleep,
then eat,
then they didn't beat me
and now they are okay with me being gay.

This is the best part of my life.
Right here.
Right now.
I love it.

Martha walked in and sat down next to me. George did to, making me in the middle of them.

The two of them both hugged me and I started to cry a little bit.
These people are amazing.

The one thing I fear now is not being adopted by them.

I would go back into the abusive mess and I don't want anything like that ever again.

I stopped wishing I was dead.
All because of this family.
My depression is slowly silencing but my anxiety levels are still through the roof.
But I'm getting somewhere.

Sure, I'm still not completely normal but who is?
And who wants to be?

Maybe me.
Maybe just a little bit.