INSTANT REPLAY | REDDIE

- 11 | INSTANT REPLAY

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"Have you got anything to say for yourself?" Sonia asked coldly. Eddie shivered, averting his eyes and twisting his fingers together anxiously. He glanced at the doctor who's name he had learned was Dr. Keene, but the man just smiled grimly. Utter disbelief at the fact that someone could be so two-faced had Eddie practically seething with anger, but it quickly melted back into fear when he saw the almost deadly expression on his mother's face.

"I—" Eddie started to speak, but was cut off as his mother interrupted him.

"What were you thinking? Standing so close to a boy like that? Standing so close to Richard Tozier of all people?" Eddie flinched at the venom in her voice, taking a step back. Her face was getting redder and redder with anger. He had never seen her like this before. "Do you know that he's been caught drinking alcohol? Smoking? You'd better not be getting in to those habits, Eddie Bear, or there will be consequences."

"It wasn't like that, Mommy, I swear—" Eddie tried again, but she just got closer, her sour breath hitting his face and putting a gross taste in his mouth.

"Then what was it like, Eddie? Normal boys don't stand that close to one another. Normal boys don't kiss! Do you know what it's called when boys kiss, Eddie?" Her voice had gotten dangerously quiet, and she was so close that Eddie's heart felt like it was going to explode. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a flicker of movement as some people stood up cautiously.

"Yes, Momm—"

"It's called being queer, Eddie. Being queer is a sin. Did you know that?" Eddie squeezed his eyes shut and nodded his head vigorously, praying for the conversation to end. "It's bad enough that you were screaming the boy's name in your sleep?" Eddie's breath caught in his throat and the sudden illusion that his lungs were filled with smoke sent him into a coughing fit. His mother screamed out in horror, grabbing at his arm, but he shied away from her grip, face becoming red.

"What's wrong?" Sonia wailed, shaking him harshly. A new pair of hands grabbed Eddie from behind, saving the day and pulling him from his mother's harsh grip. He buried himself in the doctor's arms, recovering himself from the little bout of coughing and straightening up. He eyed his mother warily, lower lip beginning to wobble. He bit down on it to keep it still, swallowing back the lump forming in his throat as his mother pulled out her secret weapon— the tears.

"Eddie, please, don't do this to me!" She blubbered, sending a stake of guilt right through his heart. "Please, we can go home and I'll make it feel all better! You'll see, Eddie, you don't need that nasty Tozier boy!"

The last comment broke his heart, and he tried desperately to keep the tears out of his eyes, looking away pointedly. He wanted to disagree, to say that he did need Richie, because part of him really did need the boy. But he took one more look at the tears streaming down his mother's cheeks and nodded softly, wiping his eyes and sniffling a little bit.

"Okay," he whispered. "Okay, Mommy." Then, to the Doctor, "May I please be excused for a moment?" Keene nodded, and Eddie headed for the door, hesitating and giving his sobbing mother a kiss on the cheek as he passed. He heard Greta following him, and frowned deeply as he walked out the door.

Eddie backed away as Greta slipped out into the hall, closing the door behind her and looking up at him with a sad smile. She folded her arms over her chest and looked down, biting her perfectly coated red lip.

"They won't let you leave," she finally said, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "The doctor told them not to. He wants to talk with you some more. Both of you." Eddie struggled to remain calm, clenching his fists and taking a deep breath. His guilt was slowly melting into anger. He didn't want to stay any longer.

"What if I refuse to talk?" He asked boldly. "What then?" Greta hesitated, an apologetic look spreading across her face. Then came the dreaded pity.

"Then I guess he'll talk to your mom and give her the option to either take you home, or keep you here until you do." Disbelief hit Eddie like a bag of bricks, and his mouth fell opened.

"What happened to making my own decisions?" He demanded. "What happened to being independent?"

"There's a difference between easing yourself out of the dependency and completely ripping yourself away from it!" Greta explained. "It's not healthy to have the relationship you have with her, but it's also not healthy to just completely remove yourself. You have to take it slow and steady."

"Oh, and living without constant supervision is too much to ask?" Eddie scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"You know why it's too much." The gravity of her words nearly crushed him. "She's been drilling you with homophobia your whole life, judging by the look on your face when she walked into that room. If you're on your own, you'll go see him. That boy. Throwing all of her opinions and life lessons away on a whim could result in a total shut down."

"My life is a total shut down!" Eddie nearly shouted. She flinched, and there was a flash of guilt in his chest, but he pushed it away in favor of being upset. "You know, if I had a normal mom, then I could wake up from those constant nightmares and calm down within minutes! But I wake up to hear someone breaking my door down and screaming her head off!" He started to pace, making wide gestures with his arms as he spoke. "Want to know what I was really doing out in the woods the other night? I was going to visit the clubhouse. A clubhouse that I built with my friends in 1958!"

"I don't know how I fell asleep, but somehow I did, and do you know what's going on for me right now? I'm getting chased by hobos with sexually transmittable diseases. Lepers are crawling out from the basements of broken down houses, chasing after me, touching me! But guess what? It's not a leper!" He laughed, though it was a hysterical and shaky laugh. "It's a fucking evil entity that feeds off of childrens' fears! It's because of her!" Eddie pointed at the door with a trembling hand. "She's the one who made that my fear. She's responsible for my panic attacks!" Eddie punched the wall, numb to the crackling pain that he would have felt under any other circumstances. He watched the blood trickle down his arm for a few moments, eyes wide.

"She's the reason all I can ever see is that thing," he mumbled. "Bobby does it for a dime, he will do it any time, fifteen cents for overtime!" He mocked, clutching his bleeding fist in his other hand. "You know, the funny thing is, that house is probably still here. I go by Neibolt Street all the time on my bike. The trains don't go on the tracks down there anymore, but I'll bet you anything that the house is still there, with the stupid skirt around the porch and the wall of rose bushes." He finally forced himself to look at Greta, who was staring at him with huge eyes.

"I think you should reconsider talking with Dr. Keene," she said softly. Eddie's gaze traveled down to her hand, which was clenched tightly around her phone, which was tilted in his direction.

"What is that?" He gestured at her hand, and she went pale, glancing down at her phone and back up to him.

"Nothing!" She said quickly, moving her hands behind her back. Eddie narrowed his eyes at her, heartbeat beginning to pick up. His breathing became a bit irregular and he took a few puffs on his aspirator, but they did little to help.

"You recorded me!" He accused. She shook her head frantically, but he took a step back, chest tightening. "Yes you did. You recorded me and you're going to show it to them!"

"Eddie, I—"

"You can't do that!" He sputtered, color draining from his face. "I... You can't!" His back hit the wall, and suddenly he was a lot further away than he remembered being. She sent one last fleeting and sympathetic look in his direction before reaching up and knocking on the door. Eddie watched as it swung opened and Dr. Keene stepped into the hallway, taking the phone out of Greta's outstretched hand. His own voice echoed in his ears, frantic and crazed.

"Jesus Christ, I really am crazy," he said to himself, shaking his head.

"Mr. Kaspbrak." He looked up to see the man that he suddenly hated with a burning passion looking down at him with a pitiful expression.

"We've decided that we want to keep you here for a few days."