Second Snapshot (Picture This Sequel: Niall Horan)

-The world can be anything you want it to be. [Chapter 25]

~

“Soon I’m going to tidy your room properly, I don’t see how you can live like this.”

I proclaimed scanning the items of apparel and some things I couldn’t even name that were cluttering his bedroom floor. Tightening his arms around my waist and hips he shrugged pressing his lips to my temple for a few seconds.

“It’s fine, there’s nothing wrong with it babe. I know where everything is like this.”

“Niall you can’t see the floor.”

I scoffed and he shrugged again, and then he almost laughed at his own lack of tidiness in his own bedroom while I just sat there, taking it all in.

“So?”

“You enjoy picking your outfit from your bedroom floor?”

I raised my eye-brows and he smirked.

“I’ll tidy it next week when you’re in collage now just shut up and kiss me.”

~

“Do you want me to go and get Niall?”

“No. He hates me!”

I whined feeling my tears still slamming against my cheeks as they poured from my eyes, bringing make-up and powder with them, but most of all they brought loss, pain and a broken heart, and that was much worse than losing a few ounces of heavy product from my face.

“What? He doesn’t hate you. He loves you Ash, so much. You’re talking shit of course he doesn’t hate you, have you been drinking?”

The words didn’t even register, they just echoed, kind of like my whole world was right now. I didn’t even feel as if I was living in it, I was a million miles away, so far away, and I was watching myself through this distant pane of glass and I couldn’t break through, trapped, so trapped drowning myself in guilt, hurt and loss.

“No!”

My voice didn’t even sound like my own as it left my mouth. So cracked, dry and lacking in any tainted sense, faltering at each syllable, I had never felt myself hurting so much physically and emotionally, I couldn’t even decide between the two right now, too absorbed within the realization that wasn’t even there, that he wasn’t mine anymore. Gone. Within a few minutes everything came tumbling down suffocating me and I had to bring our relationship with me, drowning it into oblivion. And now I felt as if I couldn’t breathe, almost as if he was my only reason to, and without him, I conveyed no purpose and more and more, as the painstaking seconds slipped by I found myself wanting no more part of this world if it wasn’t next to him, so hollow, vacant. Lost.

A matter of an hour or so later I was staring back at myself, but it didn’t even look like me. Bare. I saw myself bare with no make-up or product pretty much every day but not like this, this was completely different, make-up was there, just not in the right places, cluttering my cheeks and staining my dress there was none left on my eyes, where it should have been. I had cried an ocean by now, eye-liner and mascara were dead as well, non-existent, just like this relationship. All within a sudden flash, gone.

~~

“Shhh Ashley…It’s only me.”

Niall cooed softly into my ear, his breath was tickling my neck and as I sucked in another desperate breath I caught a split of his scent, so comforting, to have that back, filling my nostrils as I had missed so much.

“Baby it’s okay, it wasn’t real. You’re okay…Ash shhh it’s just me.”

Now I realised I was crying as I felt something warm slide down my cheek but before it reached my chin contact with his thumb to my cheek was made and the dampness was gone but the feeling of his skin against mine still lingered, clutching on like there was no tomorrow. Observing how my head felt and my insides, there might not have been.