- letter of love ♡ sidemen + willne -

❁ dear will ❁

dear will,
but where do i begin?
i'm sorry.
i'm so so sorry.
i'm sorry i pushed you away from everyone.
i was selfish and wanted you all to myself,
and i'm sorry for getting caught up in that fantasy with you
and ultimately forgetting what
reality was for a while.
but i never saw my worth until i met you. 
you'd give me goosebumps
every time you'd lay your hand on my thigh
and then slowly turn it into something more.
you'd whisper sweet nothings in my ear
about the beauty i never thought i had.
i was just a small seed
who you made into
a beautiful flower in the springtime.
but seasons change,
and spring soon turns to fall, then winter.
in reality, it may be april
but it my sad fantasy world
it is winter
and small snowflakes are starting to fall
and all i am is just the dead leaves
waiting to be blown away.
in my world,
you were the sunshine.
on the days i didn't want to bloom,
you rose in the early hours
to shower me with light and warmth
and when you left late at night,
you gave me hope of tomorrow.
a tomorrow where i'd be in full bloom
because of the sun who gave me the
light the previous day.
but even the sun doesn't want
to shine sometimes.
and the dark clouds cover up the sun
hiding it from the world.
and what can the poor flower do
if she has no sun to keep her going.
i've seen you during your worst thunderstorms
and i've seen you during your
most sunny days.
but after the sun sets the moon rises
and it's dark and mysterious in a way.
and simon was the moon.
but i didn't want the moon,
i wanted my sun.
the sun who made me feel happy and light,
not the moon who made me feel sad and dark.
nothing last forever, will
and even though the sun did everything
to keep the flower in bloom,
the flower started to wilt
and the petals fell off one by one
until the flower was just a broken stem
lying alone in a big field.
and the field was so big the sun didn't realize
how the flower was slowly dying
until it was gone.
that's us will.
if you didn't understand this lesson on symbolism
i'll just be blunt.
you made me happy.
every time i saw you i was happy,
in full bloom.
but when you left and simon came,
i was just sad.
and i'm not blaming everything on him,
it was my decision to do what i did.
but i guess i put on such a mask,
that no one saw me slowly wilting away
and the " field "
that's the world.
and no one notices anything
until they're gone.
so check on everyone you love will,
cause who knows how they're feeling
or when their flower just starts to wilt.
i loved you more than anyone or anything.
but even the brightest starts in the sky
don't last forever.
i hope you look up at the sky one night
and pick out 2 stars for me.
a really, really bright star
next to a small, dull one.
that's us baby.
but make sure that bright star
never stops being bright.
and don't think of yourself as just that one star,
because you were my whole damn sky.
william lenney
this is my
letter of love
to you.