Little Things -Jalbert

[9]

I woke up right on the edge of the bed, facing away from Lana. My cheeks were wet with tears. I hadn't slept much last night, maybe three hours at the most. I managed to force myself out of bed to shower, and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

I was such a mess that it made me laugh a little bit under my breath. My eyes were red and puffy, my hair was sticking up all over the place, and my dark circles were very apparent.

I cleaned myself up a bit in the shower, but Lana made it clear that she could tell something was wrong.

"Hey..." she trailed off as she walked up to me and placed a hand on my cheek. I should have felt something other than regret, but I didn't. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I didn't love Lana ad more than a friend anymore. "You doing alright? You look sick." I nodded and pushed out a sigh. It was impossible for me to just he silent and pretend nothing was going on.

"I actually need to talk about something." She winced when I said that. I needed to tell her about Jake. I want to go back and see him, and tell him I'm sorry, and kiss him, but would he forgive me?

"What is it?" She was going to be extremely upset, and the nerves were starting to get to me. I felt my insides knot up and I struggled to find my words.

"I think I'm in love with someone else." She took a sharp breath through her nose and closed her eyes. "While I was at Jake's house I--" she cut me off before I could finish.

"You found another girl? Well, that's okay. I have to admit that I cheated on you while I was on my trip." I didn't feel romantic attraction to her anymore, but it still stung to hear those words. I shook my head and tried to explain again.

"No. I figured out that I love Jake." Her eyes widened and she choked on air.

"What!? You stayed there for, like, a week!" I laughed to myself. She had a point, but to me, I think I'm allowed to say that I love someone that I've known for seven years. Plus, I felt that love for him even before the trip. I just didn't know it.

"Yeah, well, I need to go back to Ohio and tell him that I'm sorry." Lana turned away from me and put a hand over her mouth. I knew that she was upset, but in my heart this really felt like the right thing to do.

"Yeah, okay." She spoke quietly and her voice shook. I pulled her into a hug and she cried into my shirt. I didn't want her to feel like this, but we weren't working out anyways. She cheated on me.

"I'm sorry." I whispered close to her ear and she just nodded.

~~~~~

I packed up all my clothes and recording stuff. Simon was currently meowing and complaining in his carrier. If Jake wouldn't take me back then I'd book a hotel for a little while and find an apartment somewhere. I could start over and find new friends.

The thought reassured me. Even if things didn't work out between me and Jake, even if he wouldn't forgive me, I'd be okay. But for now, I didn't want to waste any time thinking about hypothetical situations. My flight was soon.

I was almost embarrassed to go out in public like this, but right now the only thing I care about is Jake. I'll see him so soon. I can't stop replaying the first time we kissed. I just want that feeling again.

~~~~~

I was standing here at his door, hoping so badly that Jake would answer and it would all be okay. I held my breath as my hand hovered over the door. The nervous tension was eating me alive. I finally knocked and held my breath as I waited.

Jake slowly opened the door. I waved a little and his face instantly contorted. I saw the tears spill over for a split second before he slammed the door in my face. I just stood there in complete shock.

"Wait, Jake, let me in!" I screamed through the door. No response. "Hello?" He opened the door a small crack when he realized I wasn't going away.

"What, Lana dumped you so you're back?" I pushed the door completely open and desperately kissed him. God, I was so upset. If this was going to be the last time that I ever talked to him, I wanted to do that one last time. He just held me and let me do my thing.

"No. I left her for you." I spoke quietly and smiled up at him. He hugged me tightly and buried his face in my shoulder. He was crying and I ran my hands up and down his back to calm him down.

"I didn't get to say it when you left but I love you too." I felt a huge grin spread across my face when he said that. It was like being hit by a wave of relief. All of the shit that I'd been worrying about was gone.

"Hey. Remember when you said that I could move in and bring Simon and we could live like we did while i was here before?" Jake nodded and laughed as I stepped outside to grab Simon's carrier. Jake had stopped crying and he just looked so happy when I walked in with the luggage and the cat.

"Are you sure you want to?" I nodded eagerly when he asked. It was so worth it just to be here. I'd do anything to spend my time with Jake.

"I want to more than anything." I reassured him and cupped his cheek.
I felt his smile when he kissed me, and it was amazing.

Everything is going to be alright.