I just held tightly onto the teddy - a happy memory now to stay a memory.
Never to be repeat.
Never to be lived again.
Not on any birthdays or holidays.
Just never again.
*Tommy's POV*
I just couldn't believe it. Why do such things always have to happen to her. And even I didn't know Tory that much, I liked her. She's the one who brought Liz back to me. And now she's dead and Liz completely broken.
After Billie called me, I took the keys and drove as fast as possible over to them.
"Billie!"
"Tommy! Did you see the news?"
"Yes...please don't tell me that it was exactly that plane..." But alone the mood told me that it was. I sat down. "Where's Liz? How is she doing?"
"She's sitting outside. We can't get her inside - she refuses. We'll have to wait for Tre to come. He's the one who picked her up. He's the one who can talk the best to her."
"I just can't believe it. How is such a great girl like Liz' able to loose four loved persons in ten years...I just don't get it. It hurts seeing her broken!" I said. A few minutes later Mike stepped through the door and right behind him Tre;
"Where is she?" he seemed to be completely shocked.
"Outside. Please get her at least inside." Billie said.
*Liz' POV*
I'm just so sick of this world...of this life...of everything. I don't want to wake up and face another funeral of a friend. I just can't!!!
"Lassie?" I heard Tre's presence behind me. He sat down next to me, holding on one arm of the teddy. "You're freezing. Here, I brought you a jacket."
I didn't move. I simply wasn't able to. He put it onto my shoulders This sudden warm felt good. Then he put his arm around me.
"This world is fucked-up." he said. I nodded and held tighter onto the teddy. I was scared that if I'd let him go, the memory get's washed away. "We'll, whos that?" he pointed at the teddy.
"She won him for me on my birthday. Three years ago. It was such a great day. Now just to be a memory. Never to be lived again, never to be repeated again." I answered.
"But that's not true. Every memory lives. It lives in your head. You can remember everything and remember it all the time you want to. That's the sense of a memory. Being able to repeat it all the time where and when you want." he said, holding me closer to him. "How 'bout we get inside, Mike makes us a hot chocolate, Tommy puts some music on and you'll share that memory you've been holding on so tightly? Let it live and repeat it in our heads." I nodded. He helped me up and lead me inside the kitchen. It felt good to be in the warm kitchen, the hot chocolate being in front of me. Tre sat right next to me, squeezing me softly. I was still holding the teddy, and together with him the memory.
"Come on - let it slowly go and share it with us. Let it live in our heads." he told me and put his hand onto the teddy. I let go. He didn't put it away. It just sat there. "Share it with us whenever you're ready - we're here to listen to you." he said, patting my shoulder, and taking his hand slowly away from the Teddy. I looked at it all the happy memories. Then I opened my mouth, but closed it again. After I looked up, I started to talk:
"It was a few weeks before my thirteenth birthday. We went to the Prater - it's a big funfair in Vienna. We went rollercoaster driving and did almost everything. It costed a lot of money and I've spent almost all of my savings." I had to smile a bit "After we've done almost all of the rollercoasters and other attractions, there was this stand where you had had throw balls at cans. Then you were allowed to pick a plush toy. Demands on how many shots you've bought. She tried at least five times. Then she finally shot that Teddy. We were happy and out of money. She just turned around to me and gave it to me. She told me that she wanted to take me to a rock shop in Vienna - I didn't know it back then - and I should pick a band shirt I wanted. But after that funfair, we were both broke, so she gave me that Teddy. And I remember telling her that it was better than getting me a T-Shirt. We hugged and made our way over to Nate's. His parents weren't in for a few days and even though Emily and her stupid friends called names after us, no one would be able to ruin this day. We were listening to music, eatng fast food and just having fun as friends. I showed Nate the Teddy and he was joking about it being our pet and that we three are unstoppable. He killed himself one week later - but this Teddy had just all of the memories in it - I wanted to put it onto his grave, but Tory stopped me. She told me that it's still our pet and Nate is still with us - in our memories. And I'm sometimes so scared that when I let it go, I'll loose all of the great memories." I finished the story. It was quiet. I realized I was crying and Te hugged me. I held tight onto him. He made me feel safe. Just like all the others in the room here.
