i look around the church, my paci in my mouth and my hand linked with papa's. everyone is wearing black and they all look so sad. i don't like when people are sad. i look at all the familiar faces, looking for one in particular.
nobody in my family cares that i'm little, as most people are anyway.
my eyes land on the short, blonde haired woman who raised me.
"mama?" i call out, smiling behind my paci. my mom turns my way, a huge smile covering her face as she lets out a loud gasp.
"theo, baby!" she calls, and i jog towards her, hugging around her waist as i'm too short to hug any higher.
"how are you?" she whispered into my hair, which was very soothing.
"goowd." i reply, taking in her amazing scent.
"so, do you wanna see chrissy before the ceremony to say goodbye?" she asks, pulling away and looking down at me and then up at the boys who had trailed shortly behind me.
"mhm. 'wan see him now" i reply to her, sending her a smile.
"okay. follow me." she instructs, and i nod before following her across the room.
we approach a large brown box, that's lid was open. she calls me closer, and i take a step forward so i'm able to look in the box. what i see next, causes tears to spring to my eyes.
there laid chrissy, covered in cuts and bruises, a massive scar etched across his face. i let out a sob, running to my daddies and cuddling into them, wanting to forget what i just saw. i want chrissy to be alive again! i want him to be here with me. i don't want him to go to heaven without me.
i'm knocked out of my thoughts when dada shakes my shoulder.
"baby. the ceremony is starting." he states, and i look around to see everyone taking seats in the large church. i hum in response, walking and sitting next to my mom, the boys taking their seats beside me.
"honey?" i hear my mom whisper to me as the pastor begins the ceremony.
"yesh" i lisp around my pacifier.
"i've nominated you to say a speech for chrissy, okay?" she says, and i frown at the thought of having to stand up in front of all these people but then smile, knowing it will make chrissy happy.
"otay." i agree, listening closely as the pastor finishes his speech and asks,
"would anyone like to say something in honor of christopher?"
i get out of my chair, standing on the stage and removing my pacifier.
"umm.. chrissy.. he was 'da best fwend anyone could have." i smile. "he would cuddle with me and he would play with me and he was 'da bestest pewson in da whole world." i sniffle. "bu' he left too soon. he didn't ge' to finish cowege or get kiddies like he awways wanted." i let out a sob.
"and i' was all mah fauwt. he wouldnt have dieded if i didn't want him ovew. so am sowwy chrissy. teo loves ya." i cry, walking to the coffin and kissing his forehead, putting my paci in his mouth so that he will always have a piece of me with him.