Beat Of My Heart

Crescendo

My vision was blurry as I opened my eyes, a stinging sensation ricocheting across my body parts.  The world was dark around me as I tried to adjust to the disconcerting surroundings around me, and I realized that I was in a cell of some sort. 

I tried to wrap my head around how that was even possible, was I in jail?  Had a police officer arrested me and tased me for trespassing?  As far as I knew, that park that I had went to was public. 

And then I thought back to what the man had been wearing.  He looked more like an assassin than a detective or police officer.  And then I remembered the large black SUV.  It looked almost like Sebastian's, the one that Jason always drove him around in, but this one was much darker, the tint on the windows allowing no one to see who was inside. 

I heard the distinct sound of metal hitting metal so I scurried back even further up against the cold wall I was sitting down in front of and kept my eyes peeled, however peeled they could be in almost pitch black darkness. 

"Holly...what a beautiful name for such a beautiful girl.  We'll get such good use out of you," I heard a man's voice scratch out into the cold, dank air of the room I was in. 

"Who are you?  What do you want with me?" I called out, terrified of the answer.  

"You already know that question...deep down in your heart, you know.  You've always known, daughter." he said and my eyes widened in surprise. 

"So.  You're my real father.  What a coward you must be to be hiding in the dark, afraid to face your own daughter that you abandoned so long ago!" I shouted out at him, not even caring about the consequences at that moment in time. 

I just wanted to see the face of the man who had given birth to me, who had abandoned me and left me with my mother and my dad who had raised me.  

A blue tinted fluorescent light lit up above me and I squinted my eyes in pain, not used to the sudden brightness that was burning my corneas. 

"Do I look like a coward to you, huh?" he asked me and my eyes bulged out of my head when I saw who I was looking at. 

"No.  No its not possible.  There is no way, I-"

"Do you want proof?  Look into my eyes.  Look at my hair," he interrupted himself, taking off his police emblem encrusted hat on his head so I could see his hair, slightly tinged with red. 

His eyes were the same as mine.  The same weird variation of colors that I always used to hate because it made me look so different, because no one in my family had the same eyes. 

Now I knew why. 

"Now I see why you were so opposed against my relationship with your son.  He was my half brother." I stated, the shock biting down into my core and I felt myself shutting down again. 

But I couldn't do that, not yet.  I had to get away from that sick son of a bitch sperm donor before I could let all of my walls down and properly sob into my pillow for months on end, drown my sorrows away with salty tears that would probably never end. 

He chuckled, his wiry hair tucked away again underneath his fancy uniform hat.  The wrinkles on his cheeks and crow's feet around his eyes making him look older and tired than he probably was. 

I thought back on every interaction I'd ever had with him.  They had all been cold and distant, especially any time I showed any affection with Dylan, his son.  My half brother. 

I felt the bile rise up in my throat before the pulsating of my heart almost drove me into a panic attack.  The pressure underneath my chin grew and finally it came up, everything I had eaten in the past day all spilled out in vomit on the floor below me.