Cigarette Burns // FP Jones

Chapter Nine

The day turned into night quickly, and I found myself changing, going to Toni's, decorating my face in makeup, then going to the Wyrm yet again. This was what happened most nights now, and a week later, I'd attended school, going to the Wyrm afterward most days. FP and I had continued to share moments in the shadows, then I'd sneak back to Toni's trailer. However, this was the last night I could spend at hers before her parent's return, so we'd smoked an awful lot of pot before heading to the bar, drinking again. 

Our small group seemed closer tonight, though it was probably the effect of the drug in my system, and the alcohol. 
"So, are you going to the formal?" Pea asked me, and I laughed in his face. 
"No fucking way. I would rather die than go to a dance." I replied, continuing to giggle and take another sip of beer. He smiled at me. 
"You're so lightweight." He said, pulling me onto his lap. He removed the bottle from my hand, drinking it and then putting it to the side. "No more for you, or you'll be asked to leave." Pea told me, and I nodded compliantly. We all continued to talk shit about school, teachers, and God knows what else, for I was too high to concentrate. I sat on Pea's lap, chatting away meaningless crap, while the others made jokes about my state of mind. 
"I need a smoke." I slurred. Toni rolled her eyes, standing up. 
"I'll stand outside with you if you come to the bathroom with me." She said, helping me up to my feet. The murmurs of the group quietened as the two of us walked away, to the toilets. Toni went into a cubicle and left me out by the sinks, letting me listened to the lovely trickle of the broken taps. 

"So, has anything more happened between yourself and your secret lover?" She shouted over the door, and I smiled to myself. 
"Just hot sex and deep conversations." I told her. The weed on top of beer made me too truthful, something I had to stop doing. It wouldn't take much for me to admit the romance to Jughead, or to another member of the Serpents. I wouldn't be sure of how anyone but Toni would react, seeing the age gap was awfully large. The leader of the Serpents, fucking a girl near to the age of his son. 
"Do you love him?" Toni asked abruptly, while opening the door to the cubicle. At first, I laughed at the remark, about to tell her some bullshit about how young love isn't real, and how we'd only been seeing each other less than a month. But as I thought harder about it, I questioned myself. Had I felt some sort of resemblance to love? I'd certainly liked him, there was no doubt about that, but had I felt something stronger? 
"No, I don't Ton." I replied, acting confident despite the argument between thoughts going on in my thick skull at that moment. 
"Right." She said, rolling her eyes. She hadn't believed me, I knew that, and she was probably right to. I realised I was getting in too deep, and thought back to when I'd first moved to Riverdale. I was supposed to keep further away from the real me, and yet here I was, finding myself. Jasmine Cole, into older men, a drug addict, a gang member. That's who she was, but did it end there? 

"Come on, you wanted a smoke, remember?" Toni asked, slightly annoyed. I followed her back through the busy bar, and out through the door to the Wyrm. Once outside in the cooling atmosphere, I lit a cigarette, and began smoking. 
"Want some?" I asked, and she shook her head. 
"I'm babysitting." She told me, pissing me off. 
"You don't have to, Toni. I am a big girl." I spat at her. Her attitude reminded me of something FP had said, about me being in with the snakes. It was as if they hadn't believed I could handle myself. Although part of me appreciated their concern for me, most of me had hated them for thinking so lowly of me. What did they know that I didn't? 
"Fine, let's see how far you get without me, Cole." Toni replied, strutting back inside. I rolled myu eyes, walking out to the curb of the Wyrm, finishing the cigarette. 

"Jasmine?" I heard a familiar shrieky voice shout from across the road, but my inhibitions were far too low to work out who it was. They crossed, along with a young male, over to me. 
"We've been worried sick about you on your little bender."