To Be Loved

Chapter Thirty-Nine

He kissed me slowly. My heart beat matched every movement of his lips. Languid but enough to shake me down to my deepest core.

His mouth left my mine, tracing kisses down to my jaw until he reached the side of my neck. My breath hitched. His lips began moving again and found the center of my chest.I felt myself arch to make it easier for him.

I felt his hands on my back, unclasping my bra in just a flash. I bit my lip at the anticipation. I couldn't find it in me to open my eyes. My breath hitched when he found the peak of my chest and took it in his mouth.

Lumipad ang mga kamay ko sa balikat niya at napakapit. His tongue played with my tip before going to the other globe and giving it the same treatment. 

"Xavi," I gasped out when I felt his hand on my flesh.

I was immediately transported back to the present. The girl in front of me was pale white. Fear was evident in her tear-stained eyes.

That happened the night after their game. It was our second time and last. Almost three weeks ago. I started counting in my head. I always get my period within the second week of the month. It's already the third week and I'm... late.

Umikot ang paningin ko sa naisip. Nanghihina ang mga binti ko. Kumapit ako sa sink bilang suporta at dahan-dahan ibinaba ang sarili hanggang sa tuluyan akong mapaupo sa malamig na tiles. 

Dark spots were clouding my vision. I feel like the room was closing in me. Hindi ako makahinga. 

"Lavie, I'm getting worried," I heard Ryd's muffled voice. He knocked on the door a few times. Hindi ko magawang magsalita o gumalaw man lang. "Papasok na ako, okay?"

"Lavie," Ryd exclaimed. I felt him rush behind me. Umupo siya at sinalo ang katawan ko. "What happened? Are you okay?'

Umiling ako. Atomatikong napuno ng luha ang mga mata ko nang tanungin niya kung ayos lang ako. Inangat koa ng mukha para tingnan siya.

"C-Can you please take me to a drugstore?" my voice trembled. I felt my tears roll down my cheeks.

"Lavie," singhap ni Ryd. "Bakit? Anong meron? May masakit ba sa'yo? Gusto mo ng gamot? Should I take you to the hospital?"

"No," I quickly said upon hearing the word hospital. I'm not ready for that yet. 

"Just please... dalhin mo ako. Please?" pagmakakaawa ko.

"Kakagising mo lang. Hindi ka pa kumakain-"

Umiling ako. Hindi ko yata kayang kumain. Nang maalala ko ang bacon na dala-dala niya kanina ay biglang umikot ang tyan ko. Something bile rose in my throat.

I quickly pushed away Ryd and stood up from the cold bathroom floor. Kumapit ako sa sink at nagpakawala ng panibagong suka. I heard Ryd curse. Mabilis siyang nakapwesto sa tabi ko. He bundled my hair and moved it away from my face. His other hand caressed my back.

"You're fucking scaring me, Lavie," Ryd hissed.

I gargled with water to remove the lingering bitter taste. Nang maayos ko ang sarili ay tsaka ko lang ulit tinapunan ng tingin si Ryd. 

"Ryd, please," I begged.

Buntong hininga ang pinakawalan ni Ryd bago pumayag. Hindi na ako naligo. I just brushed my teeth and changed into one of his shirts. 

Pinilit niya ako kumain o kahit uminom man lang ng coffee para mainitan ang tyan ko. Agad akong tumanggi. If I'm really... then I don't think I'm allowed to drink that.

I asked him to stay in the car and bought a few boxes of pregnancy kits. Ryd gave me a questioning look when I returned but he didn't say a word. He just asked me if I wanted to go home. Umiling ako. He asked me where I wanted to go. Wala akong sinagot kaya wala siyang nagawa kundi ang ibalik na lang ako sa condo unit niya.