Seeing Between the Lies

Chapter Eight

You can say sorry a million times, say I love you as much as you want, say whatever you want, whenever you want. But if your not going to prove the things you say are true, then don't say anything at all. Because if you can't show it, Your words don't mean a thing. 

        Being Jay's friend will hopefully help everything. My guilt. His pain. BOOM. Problem solved. I texted Jay until I eventually fell asleep. I woke the next morning with a dead phone. Just my luck. I didn't have time to charge it considering Mara was already in my drive way waiting. Perfect start to my day. 

**************************************************************************************************

        I walked into class and took my seat and waited for class to begin. As Jay walked in he walked past me, he didn't smile at me. He didn't wink at me. He didn't even look at me. I felt this cold distance between us that I haven't felt since, Well.. Then. It was the worse pain ever, and the feeling brought me back to a time I never wanted to acknowledge again. 

        Why was he being so distant towards me? Should I worry about it? Well, I'm not gonna let it get to me. He's nothing to me anymore, Remember?

        I finally worked up the courage to talk to him in biology. "Hey." A simple hey with a heart warming smile. Still nothing. He gave me this glare and turned to walk away. I grabbed his arm and tried to pull him back to face me as rage surged throughout my body. "What the hell did I do to you? What happend to "Friends"? Why the hell do you keep doing this to me?" He clenched his jaw and ran his fingers through his hair, as if he was trying not to explode. He finally stiffened up. 

        "You weren't there. You said you would always be there, and you weren't." I could see I really upset him. But what the hell did I do? He didn't give me time to respond before he left me, Broken. 

********************************************************************************

        Me and Mara sat in the car in complete, utter silence. Not because I was mad at her, but because I have things on my mind.

"Whats wrong?" asked Mara. "I don't wanna talk about it." I responded as I continued to look out the window. "No, For real. Whats wrong Kailee?" "Nothing! God, Why don't you just shut up and drive!" I shouted. When I realized what I said, I covered my mouth and stuttered as I tried to form an apology. She looked at me, With hurt and tears in her eyes and stopped the car. "Mara, I'm sorry. I didn't.." "Get out of my car."

        "You can't be serious." I stared at her. She didn't answer me as she stared out the windshield. I grabbed my bag and opened the car door. I jumped out. "Your such a Bitch!" I slammed her door and started walking in the direction towards my house, without looking back.  It took her a minute but then I heard the  car speed off in the opposite direction.

        God, Why can't I keep my stupid mouth shut! Shes not even the one I'm mad at! I really hurt her. And Jay. Walking home, I began to tear up. I tried to walk faster before the tears fell. By the time I walked up my porch steps and took out my key to unlock the door I realized my key was gone. My face was puffy and red and I was still on the verge of more tears. I don't wanna call Mara. I don't want to have to apologize right now. But my keys are in her car. I guess I could just wait until my mom comes home in a few hours. But I wanted to bury my face into a pillow and cry all my problems away. Everything was racing through my mind and I can't do this. I don't even have a charged phone to call Mara even if I wanted too!