Count On Me

XVIII

Xavier rolls his eyes, giving off an exasperated sigh. "Even when we're in the middle of making up you find ways to really seduce the hell out of me."

I frown at his sarcastic tone. "I came all the way here for you. I'm not going to let this get in the way of us."

"Us?" Xavier asks. His eyes are skeptical, his lips turned down at the corners.

I swallow hard.
"Well...yeah...or at least fix this."

"Us." Xavier repeats, testing the word.

"Yeah."

Xavier pauses, glances at the ground. His purple eyes slide back to mine slowly, cautious and sad.
"Look..." he says softly. "I want to blame you. But I can't. Your daughter comes first, and I would do the same. We can't just forget about it, and we can't talk about it. We're too complicated together."

"Xavier—"

"No—"

"No." I say then, "If we're too complicated together then why were we okay just a few minutes ago? What happened to those past months where it become so natural to fall asleep next to you? We got past the Sandy situation, so why can't we get past this? You never let anything stop you. So what's going on? Does this have to do with that guy you met at the coffee house?" I ask trying not to let the defeat in my eyes show.

Xavier frowns. "Guy from the coffee house?"

"I—"

Xavier sighs. "Can we have this conversation when we're sitting and not standing in a cemetery?! Honestly, we're probably making the dead even more dead from this absurd conversation!"

I pout. "Fine."

—————
"You were spying on me." Xavier says as I walk out of the bathroom, my face freshly clean of blood.

Xavier is facedown on the hotel bed, his voice muffled by the pillows.

"I told you. I was waiting for you and I happened to see you go inside the shop." I defend.

"You were spying on me." He repeats, tiredness laced in his voice. He turns his head, his eyes scanning me. "Come here." He demands.

I eye him wearily. "Really?"

"Really really." He says carefully turning on his side, holding an arm out for me.

I slowly crawl over, Xavier wrapping his arms around me, and pulls me against him.

"I can't tell if you're testing me or something." I mumble against him.

Xavier chuckles against me. "No." He whispers.

I sigh against him, eyes closing, exhaustion setting in from my trip and discussions with Xavier.

"Don't fall asleep on me" Xavier says then, and he grasps my chin lightly, tilting my face towards his and plants a hard kiss on my mouth.

"Quit playing." I say when we part. "You either want me or don't."

"Oh I want you." Xavier says sighing, brushes a piece of hair out of my eyes. "Especially since you get all jealous over me meeting Elliot for coffee."

I pull back. "Wait. What?!"

Xavier smirks, leans close and bumps his nose with mine. "It was Elliot, you idiot. I met him for coffee."

"He was wearing a lab coat."

"He's a biomedical engineer."

"Glasses." I argue.

"Elliot wears glasses. You've just never see him with them."

I blush furiously, glance down at my clenched hands between our chests.
"I am an idiot."

"Yeah but that's okay." Xavier sighs. "I think it's adorable that you're sensitive about stuff like that. It means you care."

"Adorable?" I frown.

"I think so." He says.
He rolls onto his back, winces.

"Are you okay?" I ask

"Yeah can you—can you just place a pillow under my leg to adjust my knee?" He says between clenched teeth.

I sit up, grab a pillow from behind me, and carefully tuck it under his knee so that it's propped up. I lean back to observe if it's okay.

"Thanks." Xavier sighs, then I feel his long fingers interlock with my own, and he pulls me back down next to him.
"We're going to be okay." He says quietly.

"Really?"

"Mhm." He says closing his eyes, thumb repeatedly running against my palm.

I swallow hard. "Could you forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive you for." Xavier sighs.

"Xavier." I groan, anxious.

Xavier sighs, opens his eyes and tilts his head to look at me. "I love you, you know that right?"

I can feel my eyes brim up with tears from his sudden announcement.
"Stop." I demand quietly. "I'm supposed to say it first."

"Sorry that I beat you to it." Xavier murmurs.

And then I'm crying like the pathetic person I am, Xavier is quick to respond. He pulls my hands away from my face, kisses each eye before cradling me against his torso.

"Why are you so put together? Why are you so prepared for everything?" I whine against his chest, his shirt becoming damp from my tears.

"Because I lived with parents who forced me to take every step head on. You had parents who left you with a child that you sacrificed your life for at a young age. It's hard to learn about your own life when you're busy with someone else's."

"I'm so sorry."

"You said that multiple times."

"I mean it every time."

"I'm sorry too."

I groan. Pause.

"I love you too, you know?"

Xavier smiles softly. "Good to know."