A Teen Titan Again (complete)

He's Still Here

"It's okay," she whispers, "Just go to sleep. It's okay." I do as she says, and let softer blackness consume me.

Raven *in Nevermore*

"So would you be able to tell me what was really going on?" I ask Knowledge, who is (naturally) bent over a scroll.

"Most likely scenario is that he did want to do that, and it would have been longer, had the security guard not seen him. Otherwise, it might have been that-" Knowledge gets interrupted by a loud scream. Quickly, I flash out of Nevermore, back to the cell. Terra is surrounded by her papers, silently screaming with her hands clutching her hands.

I grab her wrists, trying to pry them off of her forehead. "Terra, nobody's there! Listen, it's okay. You'll be alright." When she doesn't answer that, I recite my mantra, grab Timid's arm, and return. "Timid, she's in mental pain, and she keeps yelling about someone who isn't there. Can you help?" She nods, and moves over to Terra, tracing shapes on her back. Terra unclenches and looks at me while I talk to Timid.

"It's okay," she tells Terra, "Just go to sleep. It's okay." Terra closes her eyes, and her breathing grows steady. I thank Timid, who nods, then disappears back into Nevermore. I cast another worried glance at Terra, then sit beside her and fall asleep, in case she needs me.

"Terra."
"Raven."
"Traitor."
"Witch."
"You know Raven, I never liked you."
"I never even wanted to know you. You may have fooled the others, but I always knew you were a liar."
"Oh really? Is that why you let me live in you house and steal all your secrets and. . ."
"SHUT UP!!!"
"You're not getting mad, are you, Rae? Oh, better be careful. Beast Boy told me all about your temper tantrums."
"Anger is pointless. My emotions are under control.
"Myah, myah, myah. Anger is pointless. And you're calling me a liar? Come on, Raven. What hurts the most? That I tricked you? That I nearly wiped out your team? That everyone liked me better than you?"
"Stop it!"
"Or is it that deep down inside, you really believed I was your friend?"
"ARRRRGH! I TRUSTED YOU! WE TRUSTED YOU! WE GAVE YOU EVERYTHING AND YOU TREATED US LIKE DIRT!"

"No more chances."
"No more trust."
"And no more mercy."
"She's just another criminal."
"And we are going to stop her, no matter what it takes."

Slade: Very good, my dear. Now, shall we finish him off?
Beast Boy: Terra, no!
Terra: He's too powerful! I can't stop him!
Beast Boy: Yes, you can! It's your power, not his! You can still control it! You can still do the right thing!
Terra: It's too late.
Robin: STOP!!!
Slade: Strike, apprentice! Now!
Robin: Terra, no!
Raven: It'll be the last thing you'll ever do!
Slade: I gave you an order! Do it!
Starefire: Please, Terra, no!
Cyborg: Don't do it! Don't do it!
Robin: Listen to us, Terra!
Cyborg: You're not playing around here!
Raven: Fight it!
Starfire: You're still our friend!
Robin: You don't have to do this!
Starfire: We want to help!
Beast Boy: It's your life, Terra. Your choice. It's never too late to change.
Terra: I'm sorry, Beast Boy--for everything I've done.

I shoot up from the ground, heart pounding. Quickly, I look over at Terra, who's still peacefully asleep, and apparently not haunted by memories. I sigh, hope the thoughts will go away, then go back to sleep.

Terra

Slade: You've failed me, apprentice. I ordered you to eliminate the Titans. You did not. I commanded you to fight and you ran.
Terra: You can't treat me like this!
Slade: Can't I? Who else would have you, my dear? You've done horrible things. Unforgivable things. Where else could you possibly go?
Terra: Anywhere but here! I'm sick of fighting and I'm sick of you!
Slade: You'll find that quite impossible. The suit's neural interface is integrated into you nervous system. Into your skin. It's part of you and so am I, Terra.
Terra: No!
Slade: You've chosen this life, apprentice. It's too late to change your mind now. Far too late.
Terra: But it's not too late for me to walk out the door.
Slade: I'm afraid it is, my dear. You see, you no longer have any control within the matter. You promised to fight at my side forever, and that's a promise I intend to make you keep.

I jerk awake, terrified, sweaty, and breathing hard. I press my palms to my eyes, then cast my gaze across the room at Raven, who is meditating now in the corner. I sigh, absentmindedly scratching the top of my ribcage, which is extremely itchy for one reason or another. I look down where my fingernails are scratching, and see a small lump, in the shape of a circle. Atop the shape is his symbol. This can't be right. He must be playing tricks on me, that shouldn't be there.

The itching intensifies, and I grab my pencil, break off the lead, and use that to scratch. It just makes the itching worse, so I scratch harder and harder, until skin starts coming away on my fingernails. Shocked at the lack of pain or blood, I look down to see the bold S on the brown circle, solidly melded into me. A few decently strengthened tugs show it's not going anywhere.

A quick sneeze from Raven is all it takes for me to pull up the neck of my shirt before she can see it, but as soon as the last glimpse of brown goes away, the pounding in my head returns. I clamp my hands over my head to drown it out, but the torture stays, and his voice constantly asks me how it feels to know that I can kill the entire world with a flick of my finger, and do nothing about it. I hold the screams in, and Raven doesn't look over, but the pounding remains. As a last-ditch effort, I pull the neck of my shirt back down to reveal the badge, and the pain stops. Great. So that means that if I hide the remnants, I get hurt. If I show them, other people might.

The rest of the day, or night, or whatever time it is in here, I spend using my pencil to try and wedge off the badge. All I get is cuts all around it, which start bleeding all too soon. I ignore the red, and keep trying to remove it.