Living next door to an idiot

25. Knock, Knock

"Well then, I'm your idiot." He kissed my forehead lightly -causing me to blush and smile like a fool once again- and he didn't seem to care that the car had five other people excluding us.

"No, you're just an idiot." Chris chuckled from the back of the car and this caused Dante to snap his head round to where Chris was and glare at him but Dante then grinned rather evilly and I knew he was about to say something mean.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you because you're so far up Juli's ass." Dante chuckled while Blake and Charlie burst into a fit of laughter and their voices filled the car up. Jase sat next to me on my left now with a straight face doing his best not to laugh.

"That's disgusting, I'll have you know we haven't done that!" Juli snapped, this time it was her turn to blush only she was a lot redder than me and looked like a babboon's butt.

"Oh my god, Juli. You're such a retard." I burst into laughter and clutched my stomach over her stupidity. She thought Dante meant they had sex she had no clue what he meant. I did my best to hold back my laughter as I explained to her what it meant. "It means that he does everything you say, he bum licks you, he's your slave, he's your personal assistant ... do you get understand me?"

"Oh." She dug her face into Chris' shoulder as she hid her face and the rest of us continued to howl like a bunch of lunatics. "Next time, don't say stuff like that."

"Not my fault you have a dirty mind." Dante chuckled as he turned around to sit back normally in his seat.

"I get it from my sister." She mumbled into Chris's shoulder but it was loud enough for all of us to hear.

"Ah, I see." Suddenly, both Jase and Dante were grinning at me like a pair of cheshire cats. They were about to make this trip a living hell for me now. So much for thinking I was going to enjoy it. "She's dirty minded is she?"

"Psht, whaat? No." I scoffed.

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"LA LA LA LA!" I had slammed shut my hands over my ears to ignore the Carter brothers as nothing but filth escaped their lips. 

"And that's how she ended up with her mouth hurting so much." Dante exclaimed in my ear as he made sure he was close enough that even my hands over the ears technique failed me so that I was helplessly forced to listen to them.

"She just couldn't stop after the banana AND the cucumber and heck, she got addicted to the mayonnaise too." Jase chuckled as he exclaimed in my other ear to make sure I heard his bit too. "She found it so hard to swallow."

"EWH!" I gasped as I finally removed my hands from over my ears and began to slap and punch both Jase and Dante while they just chuckled like a bunch of guys on crack. "That is disgusting!"

"Violence is never the answer." Charlie shook his head in disapproval as he looked at me in the rear view mirror.

"Are you deaf? Can you not hear what they're saying?" I sat in my seat, still with shock that my best friend was not allowing me to hurt the two fools beside me who had made the past half an hour a living nightmare for me. I don't think I have ever heard so many dirty jokes and foul play on words in my whole life and not to mention the constant sexual innuendos.

"What, they're just talking about food?" There was a playful glint in Charlie's eyes as he winked at me and continued to look at the road once more.

"I am surrounded by male perverts." I gasped once more as I hid my face into the palm of my hands and began to take deep breathes so that I could calm myself down before I hurt my hands trying to punch the two brick walls either side of me.