Contemplating (Completed)

Chapter 47 - Fight

Mina's POV 

I am sad. Of course, I am, these feelings linger. She's cheating on me. Feels like I would like to pinch myself every day and be wake up because it does feel like a dream. Chaeyoung cheating on me. I can't function, basically. I am numb somehow. I feel nothing but sad. Yuju Unnie told me that I could cry all of sudden. I don't even realize. Yuju Unnie did take care of me. She's so mad because I even forget to eat sometimes. I just can't eat. I guess this is my really first broken heart. I am 40ish and this is the first time I feel like this. It hurts like hell. Even when Sana got married, this isn't like this. 

Trust me, I put my heart and soul into this relationship. I love her I do. But at the same time, just thinking about her makes me want to puke. And I don't know why. I can't really explain it but I am so so broken hearted. I should feel this in my early 20s. Not this time. This is way too late. I have my life going on, and this is totally disturb everything and I hate it. 

Rumour spread to fastly as well. The past year we always showed up together, but then all of sudden we don't. If there's any meeting in the HQ, I will send my colleagues because I can't face her. I totally dodge from her sight. It is so obvious like that. More like, I don't want to face her because I don't know what to do. I thought this will be over in a while, but it isn't.

It's been a month since the accident. I don't let myself meet her on the campus. Yuju Unnie even don't allow me to be in the HQ. Yuju Unnie told me to be beside her all the time and to always go to school and go home together. In this school, only Yuju Unnie knows about this matter, of course. Oh my God, been a month since I talked to her. Gosh. 

To be honest, I know that I am still fragile. I know that love don't die easily. I just don't know how to face her if we met. And I don't want to care what she's been up to. I try to control all this feeling.

It's November already. Soon the winter comes. Sometimes in the cold weather like this. I really miss Chaeyoung. I badly miss her. A week after that accident I went to Chaeyoung's home. I took a day off. Knowing she would be in school all day, I immediately pack all of my stuff at hers. It's hard seeing our closet. Every spot in that house reminds me of her. All of it. There's a time that I just lay down in our bed, and then I terribly cry in it. I miss her, I really miss her. I miss her in this bed, I miss her embraced me in her arms. I miss her smells, and I could only cry. I needed to be strong, I love her still even tho she brings so much pain in my heart as well.

She and I, we never break this relationship. I know despite everything, I know it by my guts that she still in love with me because my feeling towards her remains the same. But anger also consumes part of my heart. I want to see her, but I know that I hate even the sight of her, makes me want to slap her over and over. I hate seeing her, I love her so much it hurts.

In my daydream, my phone rang. I pick up.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Mina. This is Im Nayeon"

My heart skips a bit. Thousands bit even. 

"What do you want?" This is the only words that I could think of.

"I would like to meet you. I would like to set things straight with you"

If she could see me, I am now frozen like a statue. Im Nayeon wants to meet me.

"Give me the address, I'll be there"

Again, I need to be strong. I need to be in the game. Im Nayeon is just another jerk human being, she can't bully me.

"Coffee-hop Garosugil, 5 pm, tomorrow"

I then hang up immediately. I try to breathe because of the past 30 seconds, I can't.