Long Sleeves are my Friend [Complete]

Chapter 19

"I never got to say g-goodbye," I whisper, my voice breaking. I look up at Xander and see anything but pity. I see sadness, hurt, slight anger.

"This is my fault. If I stopped my dad, this wouldn't have happened to you," he says.

"NO, it is not your fault!" I grab his face and look into his eyes.

"It's. Not. Your. Fault." I say, emphasizing each word. He looks distant but still nods his head. I drop my hands then look back down.

"A few days later, I really had a hard time getting back up on my feet. What made it worse was my mother just left. No note, no warning, just gone. Then we moved to another town I lived there for a year and a half or so. Then we moved back here." I say

"I'm sorry Emilia, why did you move?" He asks.

I sigh. Looking back at him.

"It was because of my mother," I say.

It has been a long week, my mom has tried to get me out of bed for a week after Lydia's funeral, that I was stupid enough not to go to. What is wrong with me? What kind of friend does that make me?

"Honey you need to get up now, it has been a week, you need to eat something." She says ripping the blanket off of me. I groan in protest before putting the pillow over my head.

"Not today missy, it's time to get up and move on, that's what she would have wanted." I become furious at her ignorant words.

"You don't know what she wanted mother!" I yell at her in disgust.

"Honey, that's not what I-"

"I know exactly what you meant," I say getting up and storming to the bathroom. I shower and do my business. I go back to my room and pick out my clothes. Hoodie and baggy pants. I put my hair in a messy bun and walk down the stairs.

My mother looks at my clothes but doesn't say anything. I could care less how I look.

"I'll take you to school," Mom says.

"I'm gonna walk," I say leaving before she says otherwise. I walk to school and enter the building. Everyone stops and take quick glances at me. Some with pity and some with anger? What did I do? I didn't do anything.

Suddenly I'm pushed against the locker by someone.

"You are the reason she is dead!" He spat in my face.

"Its all your fault! You should have been the one to die!" The girl next to him yells. Why would they care?

"Everyone loved her and you killed her!" Someone else says. I feel tears form in my eyes.

"N-No, it wasn't," I say.

"Yes should kill yourself. We would be better off!" The girl says hitting me in the face. I drop to the floor and my tears fall.

"What a worthless piece of trash." He says before walking away. It wasn't my fault, was it?

I get up and run out of the school to my house as tears roll down my face. I burst through the door and ignore my mom trying to get my attention. I head up to my room and slam my door. I jump on my bed and scream into my pillow. I cry for hours all the pain coming back again. Soon I fall asleep.

I wake up the next morning and look to see it's 12:27 pm. I sit up and look around my room before getting up. I head down the stairs and see my father and brother at the table.

"Where's mom?" I ask them.

"She left," Dad says.

"Where did she go?"

"I don't know, she left she is gone! Never coming back!" He yells slamming his fist on the table.

"Now, Shut the fuck up!" He says, going back to his food. I was surprised, he never talked to me like that. What did I do?

"I'm so-"

"I said shut up!" He got up and slapped me. I grabbed my cheek and tears start forming in my eyes.

"Pack your shit! We're leaving!" He yells at me.

I get up and run to my room as tears run down my face. What have I done?

"I didn't know why my mom left but I wish I could say sorry for the way I treated her before she left. She was just trying to help me. It's my fault she left," I say in a sorrow filled voice.

"Hey, hey, Emilia, it's not your fault. You were grieving over your friend. You had every right to feel upset like you did," he says to me.

He looks at me and opens his mouth but closes it back again. I think I know what he is gonna ask.

"Emilia, I care about you, even if you don't believe me, I want to help you, we want to help you. C-can you tell me why..?" He trails off looking down at my arm then back at me.

I stay quiet for a moment and sigh.

"I-I just couldn't handle everything. It was just too much for me. I gave up, I was tired of the lies and this feeling..." I trail off. He grabs my hand to comfort me. 

"M-My father told me that he wasn't my real father. He said my mother left to be with her lover. I think I was just someone she had to feed and cloth. Nothing more, she never loved me. I don't even know if my birth father knows of me. She is probably living a better life without me. I just wish she would have told me why she left me," I look down and feel silent tears roll down my face.

"I feel so worthless, unwanted, and just a wast-,"

"Emilia!" Xander says startling me from my rant. I tilt my head slightly in confusion.

"Wha-" He gently grabs the sides of my face making me look up at him.

"That is not true Emilia, we care about you. I care about you," He says, sincerity in his voice.

"Bu-" 

"You are not worthless and not unwanted. You are beautiful, smart, and an amazing person to be around," He says to me. I start to tear up at his words and a blush creep up my cheeks.

"You are important to me," I feel the tears roll down my face. He rubs the tears away with the pads of his thumbs. I smile and lean into his touch.

"I want you to trust me, Emilia, I will wait forever for you to trust me," He says letting go of my face. I look down.

"I will wait," He says with a smile on his face.

I feel sudden fatigue and a yawn escapes my mouth.

"I think someone is tired," he says, a smirk playing on his lips. I roll my eyes at him and wipe my face of tears. I watch as he slouches in the chair, closes his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Xander?"

"Yes, Emilia?" He says, his eyes still closed and arms crossed.

"D-Do...uh...d-do you want to lay in the bed with me? I-It's probably more comfortable than the chair and your-" He holds up his hand.

"Emilia, you don't have to come up with excuses. Yes, I will," He says chuckling slightly. He gets up and I move over making room for him. He lays on the bed and looks at me. He hesitantly wraps his arms around me and I don't protest. I feel comfort and safety in his arms.

"Goodnight Em,"

"Goodnight, Xander," I say before falling into a peaceful sleep.

~~~~

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ps-I might do a double update for reaching 1000 reads but I don't know. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯