The Hunter Diaries // Dean Winchester x Reader

Chapter 2

Dear Diary,

It's been a week since the boys have arrived. After the first night, it seems almost as if Dean is avoiding me. He's only said a few words to me and leaves the room when I enter it. I'm not sure what I did, but he seems pissed. I wonder if he regretted what he said.

You set the pen and the diary down on your nightstand. You weren't in any mood to write anymore. Your mind raced with thoughts about the past few days and you felt a bitter feeling towards Dean.

Why the hell was he acting this way towards you? Everything you wrote down was true; he was barely speaking to you and barely even looking at you. You couldn't come up with a good reason as to why but you thought it probably had something to do with what he said to you the first night he arrived. Maybe he did regret it. Maybe he didn't want to you to get the wrong idea and now was avoiding you.

You groaned and buried your face in your pillow. Why was this so complicated? Why were men so complicated? You weren't exactly an expert in the men department so you weren't sure what reasons could make him act this way. Carter would have known. This problem would have been resolved the very next day if she was still around.

You were chilling on one of the couches in the sitting room, a lore book in your lap and a beer in your hand. The house was quiet, just the occasional creak or straining sound of the old wood house. Sam and Bobby were out on a supply run and Dean was god knows where, not that that would concern you anyway.

Now that you thought about it, you hadn't seen him all day. The impala was still out front but Dean was no where to be seen. That's probably the point though.

Before you could think much more of the subject, Dean walked through the door. You looked up from your book and saw him glance once at you and then turn back to the door.

"Wait!" You said. You pushed the book off your lap and set the beer down. You got up from the couch and dashed after him. You went out through the door, the cold air hitting you hard.

Dean was walking away fast, his hands in his pockets and his shoulders slumped. You ran after him, shivering by the time you finally caught up to him.

"Dean, stop," You said. You clasped a hand onto his shoulder and turned him to face you. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were hard.

"What?" He snapped. You reeled back a bit, his tone and stance intimidating.

"I just," You began. You weren't sure how to word it. "I just wanted to..." Fuck it, you thought. You took a deep breath and gave him a matching expression. "Why the hell have you been ignoring me? You leave the room when I come in and you don't talk to me. Did I do something to piss you off?"

"No," He said.

"Then what? Why are you being such a douchebag to me?" You asked. You raised your shoulders and dropped them, bringing your hands to your sides and bringing them back down to slap against your thighs. "Why are you doing this? Because I'm lost, Dean."

He sighed and ran a hand down his face.

"Look, Y/N," He said. "You're my best friend. And I said some stuff the other night and I realized I just can't let you get close to me."

"So, what? Were you lying about the stuff you said?" You asked. You bit your lip to keep it from trembling.

"What? No, no of course not," He said. He grabbed your hands and looked into your eyes. "I meant everything I said. That's why you need to get as far away from me as possible."

"Why, Dean?" You whispered. "I don't want that. I've already lost Carter. I can't lose you, too."

"I know, Y/N/N," He said. "But you don't understand. If I get close to you, you're going to get hurt."

"I can take care of myself, Dean." You told him.

"I know," He sighed. "But I'm not only talking about physically getting hurt."

Now you were confused. What was he talking about? "I don't understand."

"I know you don't," He said softly. "I'm so sorry, but I have to go. I can't let you get close to me. Sam and I are leaving when he gets back." Your heart clenched at his words. You didn't want him to leave. That was the last thing you wanted.

"Dean, please don't go," You said.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. But this is goodbye. Forever," He said. His eyes were wet and you could tell he was holding back his tears. You weren't doing a very good job of it yourself.

"What? No, Dean, please. Talk to me, why are you doing this?" You insisted. Tears were flowing steadily down your face. You wouldn't be able to handle not seeing him again. You couldn't. You cared so deeply for him. He was the only man you'd ever felt something like this for. He couldn't just leave.

"I'm sorry," He conceded. He bent down, pressing his lips to your forehead. He lingered there for a moment, then he pulled away from you and turned back to walk deeper into the sea of broken cars and parts. You stood still, watching as he walked off with teary eyes and a broken heart.

You were standing in front of the house. Bobby was inside, already given his goodbyes. Sam was in the car and Dean had finished putting the bags into the trunk. He closed it and walked over to you.

"So, this is goodbye, then," You said. You crossed your arms and focused on his face.

"Yeah," He murmured. You sighed and shook your head.

"So, what, you're just gonna leave? With no explanation as to why you or Sam can never see me again? Oh, but you can see Bobby. Just not me," You said bitterly.

"Y/N-"

"Don't." You cut him off. He took a deep breath and cupped your cheek.

"This is hard on me, too," He said. "Trust me. I'd give anything not to have to do this."

"Then don't!" You urged. You placed your hand over his on your face. "Please, Dean."

"You don't understand," He said.

"You're right, I don't. So make me," You told him.

"I can't," He admitted. "You'll probably find out one day. But today isn't that day."

You shook your head and allowed a few tears to escape. You wanted to fight more for him to stay but then something happened that left you frozen.

Dean's lips pressed softly to yours. It was an intimate gesture, one filled with passion and promise. His lips were soft against your own, the kiss gentle. It was a kiss that expressed how you felt for one another without words. His thumb ran along your cheekbone and your hands fell to his chest, fisting them in his shirt. And before it began, it ended, and he was pulling away. A single tear leaked from his own eye.

"Goodbye, Y/N." He said. He turned around and headed towards the car. You watched as he got behind the wheel and turned away from the house. You watched as the only man you'd ever loved drove away from you. You watched as Dean Winchester left you, taking your heart with him.