Those with Sparks in Their Eyes: A FMA(B) FanFic

Chapter Twenty Six: My Death

I ran faster and faster. My legs burned, and my eyes were swollen. My lungs felt like they would burst. I hate myself for what I did. I let Kimblee go, and I lost my chance to avenge my brother.

Matthew's death was in vain. Kimblee's condemning voice kept ringing in my head, his patronizing words bouncing off the walls of my skull.

It was revitalizing! Bye, bye, little sister!

"Get out!" I yelled at myself, hitting my head with my palms as I ran. "Get out, get out!"

I started to think I was going insane. Yelling at the voices in my head. I left Al and Heinkel there too. If something happened to them, I don't know how I would ever look in a mirror again.
As I kept running, I tripped on a stump and tumbled to the ground.

When I fell, I kept barreling downhill, ripping my pants a little on the knee. As I past the plants on my way down, some of them tugged at my clothes and face, tearing the skin. I acquired several scrapes and bruises. Once I stop, I sit up in the grass and try and clean my wounds and wipe away the blood.

Bye bye, little sister! I was more than happy to oblige.

"Stop!" I screamed, holding my wounded arm. "Shut up! Please!"

I was ordered to. Führer King Bradley. Führer King Bradley. Führer King Bradley.

I gripped my heads with both hands, putting it between my knees and screamed. As loud as I could.

"Help me!" I sobbed, "Please! Anybody! Make it stop! Make the voices go away! Make it stop!"

Only no one was here for me. I was shooting a bullet straight into the air. There were no arms for me to run into; not anymore. My friends weren't here, and they might be hurt, or worse, probably because of me. If a girl screams in an open field, and no one is around to hear it, does she make a sound?

Or will she just be driven mad from the pain of the stabbing feeling in her heart? I felt so helpless. I was a prisoner inside my own, unstable mind. I couldn't stop myself from thrashing around, only cutting and scraping myself further. I was a ticking time bomb, and it was only a matter of time before I blew up. The rational side of me said 'stop', and I wanted to listen, but it was overpowered by the rest of my body.

I could feel my throat strain from screaming; by tomorrow I won't have a voice. By then, I might not need one.
I believed the mind, soul, and body existed separately, and that they had no affect on each other. No. A broken soul also breaks the mind and the body.

I've just learned this now. Maybe I've always had a broken soul. Maybe I've always been a ticking time bomb, and now that time has run out. I'm exploding. Cracking, breaking, crumbling under the stress of what feels like the world on my shoulders. The truth of the cruel world we live in is hard to swallow. But that doesn't make it any less true.

If a girl breaks in a field, and no one is around to hear the 'crack', will anyone be able to fix her? The answer to that seems so simple. No. Because if no one is around, if no one cares, how can they fix me? Even so, some things aren't worth fixing.

I roll over on my back and stare at the sky, nearly crushing my arrows and bow. Something wet rolls down my cheek, and I'm not sure if it's a tear or blood. Breathing is hard, and I feel my eyelids getting heavy. They're too weighted to keep up, so I close them. I can't move, even if I try. I've completely shut down.

So this is it. This is how I die. Laying in a field, broken, busted, burned, and mumbling
"Make it stop. Anyone, please, make it stop."

There is a certain peacefulness to it. Feeling the breeze run over me, and the suns heat on my body. Knowing that soon, I'll be with Matthew, where ever he is. It's like sitting in the dark. You can fight an enemy you don't see, or you can let it pass.

I guess that unseen enemy is looking back at me in a mirror. Only, if I can't see it, how can I break it? So why fight it? I'll just let it take me. I'll be consumed with it, my screams becoming echoes of the past, and my entirety disintegrating into a silent memory.

I suppose I've had a pretty good life. I've gone through tragedy, lost a leg, but, at the same time, made a lot of friends; Ed, Al, Ling, Lan Fan, Winry, Izumi.....maybe even Greed. I've felt joy, pain, happiness, and suffering, hate, pain, and love, even if it didn't last long. Not to mention the heartbreak that came with it. I'm still trying to decide if the good outweighed the bad.

Soon it'll be over, it's just too bad the last thing I feel is the slight stinging of my scrapes all over my arms, legs and face, and the thing I hear is Kimblee's voice saying

I was more than happy to oblige. I was ordered to. Führer King Bradley. It was revitalizing. Like a symphony.

I let my eyes fall and my breathing slow. I could hear the faint pumping if my heart in my eyes. With one last look at this earth, I emptied my mind and let the darkness take me. The only thought in my mind was 'Matthew'.

***

No.

Not now.

What a stupid time to go off dying.

Not when everyone was depending on me. Yes, I have had a pretty good life already, but I'm not done yet. If Al told me to go, it was for a reason. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I need to do something. If he gets hurt, I need to make sure it's not in vain, and I need to do what he told me to. Live.

My eyes dart open, and my breathing becomes easier. I push off the ground and stand up, driven by this new motivation. Instead of feeling weak or dizzy, I feel powerful. Like some unknown force is pushing me forward, so that's where I run. Yes, the world is cruel, but that doesn't mean I can't try and fix it.

And if no one is around to fix me, I'll just have to use my own tools and fix myself. Running, I feel the air rush by me. It drives my soul. Maybe Kimblee's gasoline did ignite some fire in me, and this one keeps my engine going. The world needs saving, so why can't I be the one?

If Matthew is looking down on me, I think he'd be proud. Proud that I chose to keep fighting instead of give up. Now I can fight or die. I've chosen to fight, but if I die fighting, that's a way to truly know my life was meaningful.

Once I reach the bottom of the hill, I see Central clearly. Once I step foot in that city, there's no saying what could happen. There's also no going back. But I've already made up my mind. I step onto the stone roads of the city, wandering the streets, and making my way to Central Command. That's where I figure everyone else is. That's also where I'll get my answers.

I am the fearless leader. I am alive. And until my time comes, I'll fight for good, my countrymen, and my family. The only family I have left.

Ed

Al

Winry

Ling

Lan Fan

Izumi

Maybe even Greed. Maybe! It depends...

Sorry, I know that was a short chapter! I'll get another out soon, and I'm hoping it'll be longer!

-ImmaOtaku_17