sometime around midnight (it ends and starts)

2016

They both know what's about to happen, there's no point in playing pretend.

She throws her Florida Panthers jersey to the floor and quickly changes into the clothes her mom had packed for her earlier. Not so fast she doesn't get to see Lauren walking in and rolling her eyes at her one last time before approaching Lucy.

Camila scoffs at the childishness. So many nights of secrets shared and kisses stolen reduced to spite and resentment. She can't resist staring for a moment though; can't resist one final bout of masochism as she watches Lauren hide her face in the crook of Lucy's neck and swallow a sob; can't resist the tug at her heartstrings that makes her move closer instead of away, resting a hesitant hand on the small of Lauren's back.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, to Lucy's nod of acknowledgment and Lauren's sharp intake of breath.

She leaves then, practically running out of the venue until she's halted by a familiar voice:

"That's it?" Dinah asks, a hurt, offended edge to her tone. "You're just gonna bolt? Without even saying goodbye?"

"Cheechee." Camila sighs, turning to see her friend's face washed in tears. "Isn't this already hard enough?"

"Just come over here and give me a hug, you asshole," Dinah orders, hands frantic in their beckoning.

Camila does as she's told, and she cries in Dinah's arms all the farewells she'd avoided, all the apologies she'd left unsaid and all the excuses she'd come up with for how much pain she'd caused everyone.

*

you were fashionably sensitive / but too cool to care

When their tour manager walks into the studio they're rehearsing at to tell them Lauren isn't going to perform with them because she's been detained at Dulles Airport for weed possession, Camila laughs for hours.

She isn't even sure why she laughs so hard, it just seems like such a Lauren thing to happen and she can't help how she feels amused, annoyed and endeared, all at the same time.

Normani is really angry and Ally shrugs it off as if it doesn't bother her. Dinah joins Camila in her laughter and the jokes about Orange is the New Black and 420 and Lauren as a sloppy dealer keep coming until it's time for the concert.

The Brazilians are loud and loving as usual, exuberant in their enjoyment of the music, and making Camila smile from the moment she steps on stage.

It almost makes up for how they scream for Lauren and Camila lets a "Sing it for my girl!" slip out that sobers her mood.

The emptiness in her chest for what's about to be the definite end of the story of her and Lauren doesn't quite let her smile as brightly again.

*

it's time to trust my instincts / close my eyes / and leap

Roger calls her when she's cuddled up with her mom and Ashlee, watching Little Miss Sunshine.

"Have you checked Twitter?!"

She yawns into the receiver, not to be mean on purpose, but because she's tired and the mere thought of social media is emotionally draining. "I was watching a movie, so no. Do you need me to do some damage control? Did anything happen?"

"Camila, Bad Things just got to number one on iTunes!" the man yells, more excited than a pre-schooler at Disneyland. "This is great news! Everything we've fought so hard for! You're gonna be huge and this is just the beginning!"