Chapter 2

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I walked into the crowded yet semi quiet classroom of the less than lovely Mrs. Turner. She had an earthy, hippie feeling to her because her whole room was covered in bright colors and she herself was wearing a yellow shirt and sunset colored skirt that reached below her knees. She smiled at me as I walked in and sat down at a desk in the back. Even though I was playing a nerd I would rather stay unnoticed at the back where no one could see how much I lacked in this high school. I only lacked because I wasn’t wearing short skirts and belly shirts.                                                       First days always seem to be focused because many people have promised themselves that ‘this year will be different’ or ‘I’m going to try harder this year’. They always seem to be lies because before the end of the semester someone is going to realize that they don’t give a fuck. Around the room everyone seems perfectly prepared with new pencils and notebooks. They have on their best and most tacky school uniforms and the brightest, up to date shoes. I didn’t even bother to brush my hair this morning because I was in such a rush. I pulled it up in a messy bun and ran out the door, unlike the whores who spend hours on end applying mascara and Gucci lipstick.                                                                                                                      The first class is always the most boring. You sit there and listen to the teacher lecture you about their expectations and rules. They tell you what work you have to do even though you could care less and they try way too hard to seem professional. It’s funny how they think they deserve respect even though they clearly don’t since they don’t respect the fact that you aren’t paying attention. I promised my parents I would start working on getting scholarships so as soon as I sit down I take notes. Kimberly Picket comes in strutting and slutting her tacky black boots and short as fuck skirt. It’s obvious that she wants to be an attention whore so I ignore her. She walks by my desk and gives me a repulsed look. I get I don’t look attractive in this disguise but I deserve something. She shouldn’t just automatically assume she is better than me just with one look.

“Nerd,” says the she-bitch as she walks by.

“Excuse me?” I reply as I stand from my desk. I straighten my skirt and find myself eye to eye with the leader of Slutt Central. She turns around, swinging her blonde hair in my face. I can’t help it. I hate having to deal with stuff like this. I have for the last three years and I’m not for the next four. I don’t want to ruin my cover but I’m tired of being pushed around. I want this year to be different than the others. I am tired of being the nerd. The nerd is too boring for me right now.

“Excuse you? Did I stutter? I said nerd. I’m sorry if you’re deaf too” She blinks at me like I’m the dumb blonde who walks around like a whore. Obviously at this point I go into full bitch mode. I cant help but want to claw her face as a lesson to respect people like me. I work hard just to please my over judgmental parents and her mom could probably care less if she left the house in a thong and ski boots. It’s like I dress like a nerd and is considered one but if people really knew what I thought then they would respect me for being me. I want people to realize that I’m not just some nerd that you can ignore and push around. I am actually worth something to someone…I hope. This role gets frustrating sometimes but it’s me. One day I will show the world the real Marissa.

“I said excuse me to give you a chance to take back the worst mistake you will ever make.” She-bitch looks at me with her stupid blinking eyes and open mouth. She acts like I am not capable of being witty just because I am not a popular attention whore. She is unfortunately very wrong.                        By now, everyone has crowded around us and is watching my awkward self outsmart the rather trashy blonde. I am actually proud of myself for being who I really am. This is all an act for my parents and for everyone else. I wanted to be hidden but, I want this year to be different. I want to come out of my shell and be someone who is actually normal. Before I can even process this thought though I find myself flat on my ass after being pushed by she-bitch. My glasses fall and slide across the floor and everyone can see my puffy, red morning eyes. My bun is hanging on for dear life and everyone around me is laughing and making jokes about how I am so stupid for challenging the most popular attention whore.         She caught me when I was looking                                                                                                At lunch, I tell everyone about my rather awful experience with the she-bitch.

“You shouldn’t be doing that stuff. Fights are dangerous and against the rules.” Lacy says as she eats her turkey sandwich. I love Lacy but she can be so annoying. She doesn’t understand what it’s like to hid yourself from the world because of your parents. She isn’t exactly pretty but she is nice and funny. She weighs about 230 pounds and has a rather blocked face. By blocked I mean she is pimple crazy. She wears whit, long socks that go up her ankles and she folds them down. She wears a white pair of tennis shoes and she doesn’t shave her legs because she never shows them. Her hair is almost always greasy but I think it’s from the lack of conditioner. She has round glasses that cover up her hazel eyes. They match her hair perfectly. She would be so pretty if she lost some weight and bought some proactive and conditioner.                                                                                        We are sitting at the table in the back corner of the cafeteria. Tyler is sitting beside me, admiring his organized notebook. He is a complete neat freak. He is always carrying around some kind of organizing tool. He is alays neatly put together. His short black hair is always brushed back and his blue eyes are light enough so that they stand out. His glasses are square framed but very thin which make his nose look slightly bigger than it is. He always wears a plaid shirt under a vintage sweater vest. He wears dress pants all the time with his fancy church shoes. He is very cut and clean. It seems like he is Harvard material except for his social skills. He has always been quiet and shy around me and a lot of other people. He is so sweet when he opens up though but, nobody gets to see that because they push him into shy mode.

“I had to. I don’t want to be pushed around by her. She can’t just look at me and assume I’m a nothing.”

“You aren’t a nothing but, we aren’t exactly cool. They are cool.” She says pointing to a group of attention whores and their tag-alongs. I never did understand those girls. The tag-alongs always followed the popular people, hoping to be one someday. They weren’t as pretty or as popular but they kept afloat by being friends with the attention whores and populars.

“I want to change. I am not going to spend the whole year being made fun of and stereotyped. I’m not what they think I am I just want to get into a good college. I want to make my parents happy. They think I’m perfect and I cannot screw that up but, I’m sick of being little miss nerd. I’m done.” I reply. I get up and walk away from the loser table in triumph, hoping I never have to sit there again. I hope I didn’t come off too mean but, I’m sick of it. I think I deserve to live a little. Maybe I could hide it from my parents and still be on my way to being me. I could buy new clothes with my money and hide them in the back of my closet. I can cover up when I leave the house and change in the bathroom before school starts. It seems risky but a well thought out plan might be just what I need.                                                          I turned the corner of a hallway in search for any sign of silence. I wanted a break from the whole scene of high school. I turned another corner and then fell to the ground. I hit something as hard a brick wall. My fake glasses went sliding and I was frazzled. I lay on the ground a few seconds to take in what had just happened.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to run into you. I was texting and…here let me help you,” said the wall. I was then lifted to my feet and handed my glasses. I looked up at the well-built figure in front of me. That was most defiantly not a wall.

“It’s ok. Happens all the time.” I smiled a shy smile and then blinked a couple times to make sure this was real. He smiled at me and walked away, taking his gorgeous self with him. I had no idea that I could even get attention in this. I looked down at my rather disgusting apparel and then revised to thinking that he was just apologizing. If I dressed how I want to though then he would have defiantly asked me out. I kept walking and eventually the bell rung.

“Just three more classes. Then I can see about reinventing myself.” I took a breath and gathered what I had left. I was not going to spend the whole year like this. I didn’t realize how easy I could be pushed to the limit. I don’t exactly know if what I’m doing is right but…I’ll give it a shot.

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