Open mind

Chapter 5

I was watering my plants when a knock came from my door. It was the first time ever that he knocked rather than just walked in. 'Yeah?' I asked, still focussed on my plants. I had managed to trade my weekly rewards for plants. I liked the green in contrast to my white room. The colour stood out from the colourless walls so well. They made it seem more alive, more like a home rather than the prison cell it could sometimes feel like. My door opened and a wave of cold air hit my face. I put the water down and faced him. 'Something wrong?' To my surprise he looked sad. I wanted to walk towards him, but after I took a step forward, he came towards me. He pinned me against the wall and looked into my eyes. 'Lotus, what do you think of me?' he asked. I frowned, unable to speak for a moment. The sudden pressure of having him so close played with my mind and I let my head down. I liked his smell.

'Uhm, you're okay. A good guy. But you're very....' I shook my head. I couldn't say that. 'Very what?' I could tell from his voice that he wouldn't let me get away with it. 'very... intimidating.' I whispered and closed my eyes for a moment. His aura was bright red. 'Does it scare you?' He sounded somewhat worried. 'No.' I replied immediately. It didn't scare me at all. Yes it made me nervous, but not scared. 'Look at me.' I did so immediately and looked up at him. 'I'm leaving.' My heart skipped a beat and I got sick in my stomach. 'What?' I managed to bring out. 'Tomorrow I'm going home.' I kept quiet. I didn't want him to leave. It meant I wouldn't see him anymore. He'd just disappear from my life. I'd have to move on like he had never been there. I didn't want that. I couldn't help myself when the first thought that came into my mind was the thought of blood. I'd cut myself to pieces if he left. He was the only thing that made living here not so bad. 'Oh...' I didn't even notice that I was staring out of the window. 'Hey.' He said, grabbing my chin. He made me look at him again and before I realised what happened he had pressed his lips on mine. Oh god. Was this really happening? I was shocked but happy at the same time. After a few seconds I felt myself calm down, my mind became clear and I kissed back.

After what felt like minutes we parted. I looked into his gorgeous eyes with a sigh, but I didn't see happiness on his face. More like confusion. 'I'm sorry.' He mumbled. 'What? No, you don't have to be sorry.' I stepped towards him and grabbed his hand. I was a bit shocked when he roughly pulled his hand away. He glanced at me before walking away. With a deep sigh I let myself fall on my bed. I was confused.

It was Sunday morning. We were with seven people, but it was quiet. No one was talking. I looked at Shawn, but he didn't look back.

After breakfast I went to my room with the excuse I had had a rough night. It wasn't even a whole lie. The last time I watched my alarm clock it had been 3 a.m.

In the hours that followed I didn't do much. I laid on my bed, listened to the radio and thought about Shawn. After I finally found the motivation to get up and clean my desk, a knock came from my door moments before I had finished it. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. 'Yes.' My door opened, I didn't have to look to know who it was. 'Hey.' I said as I turned around. He was looking at me as if he could see right through me. It sent shivers down my spine and I got really nervous when he closed the door behind him. 'Lotus.' Oh how I loved my name when it came out of his mouth. 'Yes?' He was walking towards me. I felt my cheeks glowing. 'I can't get you out of my head.' He said. His arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me closer. My hands laid on his chest now. My head was getting cloudy. I loved being this close to him. 'Me neither.' I heard myself mumble and before I knew it we were kissing. His lips were soft. I needed to breathe but I didn't want to part. He silently looked at me after he pulled back. He went for another kiss and I wrapped my arms around his neck. His aura changed. The friendly red aura turned into a deep shade of purple. He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back against the wall. 'Shawn-' I was cut of by yet another kiss. He took my hands into his own and pinned them above my head. My mind went blank. I wanted him. I didn't even know what I wanted from him, I just wanted him. His left hand kept my hands in place while his right hand disappeared under my shirt. I gasped as he softly touched my breasts. He was so warm. I wanted him to touch me. Finally he let go of my hands and I hugged him. He laid his hands on my back and made me hold my head to the left. His soft lips placed gentle kisses on my neck. 'Shawn.' I whispered his name. I needed a break. I would lose my mind otherwise. It was as if he knew and he just pulled me close in a hug. I stood there with my hands on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.