Touched by the Fear

[1]

Opening her eyes, she saw the concerned look on her dad's face. She couldn't get any words out just yet so she nodded instead, letting him know that she was ok.

"I knew I shouldn't have brought you here. It's too much, too soon."

It was exactly that. But she needed to do this, to be here even though it was the most painful thing she could do. "No, I'm ok." But let's get this over with, she thought and moved towards the wreckage.

She opened the door and the smell of talcum powder hit her. All the airbags had deployed during the accident and suffocated the car with its distinct smell. Hollis briefly remembered breathing in a lungful of that air, of feeling the little particles coat her throat and lungs.

"Hollis," Grant said, breaking through her thoughts. "I need to fill out some paperwork. Are you going to be okay here?"

"Yeah," she answered.

He stood in place, hesitant to leave her. After a few seconds passed, he nodded. He stepped away with the worker, who was happily chatting away about something neither of them cared about.

She was left alone. With a big sigh, she lowered herself into the car. Hollis searched through the compartments for anything that she needed, that she wanted to take before she left it behind. Only a few items were worth saving such as her sunglasses, a notebook that had wedged itself between the seats and a few other useless items that she couldn't bear to leave behind. She opened the visor and a picture fell out, landing on the floor by her feet. Gingerly, she picked it up. It was a picture of her mom, stepdad and herself a few years back; they each wore big smiles, much like they did each time they were together. She smiled at the happy reminder even though her heart gave just a little.

Swinging the bag over her shoulder, Hollis made her way around the car. She took in every indentation, every shard of glass that was missing. It was painful but, at the same time, it was closure. She needed to face this if she wanted to move on. But even as she tried to convince herself that she needed to do this, the bitter sting of tears blurred her vision. Blinking them away, she brushed her hand across the car. As her fingers trailed the surface, Hollis caught something that she hadn't noticed before. Five long and sharp impressions had broken through the paint. They ended when they reached the back but, there, they were also deeper. They faintly looked like scratches but from what? These looked animal like. She didn't know of any animal that could do leave marks like these yet there wasn't any other explanation.

Hollis pulled her camera from the bag and intently stared at the marks. Bringing the lens to her eye, she focused and took a few pictures. She zoomed in on the scratches and snapped a couple more pictures. Why she felt the need to do that, she didn't know. Something told her that they were important or perhaps she just wanted to believe they were so she could find an explanation on why they crashed that night. With a soft sigh, she placed the camera back in her bag just when her dad walked up.

"How did it go?" He questioned.

"It was fine. I'm all done." Hollis stepped away from him and his gentle, concerned look. Without waiting for a response, she made her way across the lot. She didn't look back at the car or to see if her dad was behind her. She didn't stop until she left the car cemetery and all the lost lives behind her.

Now.

The sunlight filtered in through the window, lightly touching all surfaces of the room. The sky was a light shade of blue and, the abundance of sunshine held promise for a beautiful day. For Hollis, the only promise the day held was the one of reminders; of a life changed. She stared into the full-length mirror, trying to gather as much confidence and strength as she could for the start of the day. But everything was different now and, no matter how hard she tried to convince herself otherwise, she knew the ugly truth in the back of her mind. She tilted her head to the side and stared at her reflection. A smile stretched itself across her face but it felt too forced. It looked too forced, much as it had been for the entirety of the summer. Her eyes seemed to betray her act of happiness as well and, the smile faltered before it disappeared completely.