Touched by the Fear

[4]

Hollis averted his gaze. She didn't comment on his answer and, instead, pretended that she didn't hear it. When she couldn't bear the silence any longer, she stood up and gathered her dishes.

"I need to talk to you about something." Grant took her dishes and placed them into the sink with a clatter.

She nodded. "Ok, what?"

"I'm starting my new job on Monday," he stated, looking at her expectantly.

A confused expression crossed her face. "OK," she said apprehensively, unsure of what he wanted her to say or how he expected her to react. She was about to ask him to explain but a thought dawned on her and she raised her eyebrow. "Wait, here? In Beacon Hills?"

Grant nodded happily. "Yeah, it's at the community college in Beacon County. The one your mom taught at." He waited for her to reply but, when the silence seemed to swallow them whole, he continued. "I'm taking over your mom's class, actually. It would have been cut this year but I offered to take over. I think Addison would have wanted that. So, what do you think?"

"She would have loved that," she agreed, although she was still registering his words. "But what about Seattle?"

"What about it?" He asked.

"Well, your apartment and job are there. So..." She shrugged, letting him fill in the pieces.

"I quit that job when I came here and, the apartment's been on sale for weeks now."

"So, you're staying here? Like permanently?"

"Yeah, Hollis." He moved from around the counter, towards her. "Did you think I was going to leave?" he asked slowly.

She shrugged. "Honestly, I don't know," she said with a shake of her head. The topic, although it had crossed her mind some time ago, wasn't one that she dwelled on.

"I wouldn't just leave you here alone." A mixed look of surprise and hurt appeared on his face. He took a step closer to her but Hollis stepped back.

"No offence, but you've already done that. I mean, it's kind of your thing," Hollis stated as his words swam around in her head.

"Hollis..." he trailed off with a sigh. "That was different. When I left, I knew that you were going to be ok. Your mom was here to care for you but-"

"But now both my parents are dead," she said matter-of-factly. "So, what now? You're going to step up and take the role as my dad after six long years?" She questioned as anger fueled her. So they were going to have this conversation, she thought sourly. Shaking her head, she crossed her arms. All this rage that had been bottled up inside her seemed to rise to the top, making her a ticking time bomb. Hollis should have been happy to hear that her dad was here for her, that he wasn't going anywhere but she wasn't. Rather than happiness, she felt anger towards him. "You don't get to do that. You don't get to just leave and then come back as if nothing happened."

The hurt on his face increased, although he nodded. "I can't tell you how sorry I am, sweetheart."

"Sorry doesn't really make it okay, dad." She felt the bitter sting of tears and angrily wiped at her eyes. "Would you have even come back if mom and Mark hadn't died? Or would you still be gone for another six years or more?"

Grant opened his mouth and closed it.

"That's what I thought," Hollis said bitterly. "Do what you want." She took a few steps back. "But I was fine without you for those years, and I would be fine if you walked out the door again." She hated herself for causing him pain. Hollis knew he was trying to make amends and, deep down, she had started to forgive him but she couldn't bring herself to admit it. She lashed out on him instead, using all those years of pain and betrayal to hurt him back. Without another word, she grabbed her bag and ran up the stairs to her room.