TBS Imagines

A Cure (Newtmas)(PART ONE)💜

Michael told me to make friends. Go to classes. Learn. Grow. Show him what I'm worth. I did the classes part. I was the star student, and because of that, the other boys excluded me even more. The only girl, taking all their thunder, being smarter, and rejecting all but one boy who I only passively accepted because we were the same. They must hate me. Hm.

Other than classes, though, where I really had to sit next to the boys, I was always on my own. I read in my free time and sat at lunch alone and stayed quiet during breaks or pauses in class. When I started to pass everything with flying colors, Michael gave me a little present. I got to meet the girls. He said that it was just a peep into what I could have, if I wanted to leave the boys.

They took to me well. When I told them I'd been with the boys, a blonde girl named Sonya could only ask me about Newt. Understanding her when she told me he was her older brother, I told her everything I knew. He had friends. He missed her. We weren't friends but he was the only one who I'd let get close enough to it. She seemed saddened by my predicament when I told her about St- Thomas. Thomas. Michael had told me to call him Thomas.

We really bonded over the hurt of losing our brothers, and she told me that I could stay there. When I explained that if I stayed here it meant I would be in this group and therefore be away from my brother for who knows how long of the next eternity, she smiled sadly but understood. I had to go. As much as I was welcomed warmly here, and as much as the promise of real friends and an actual home-like place in this Lockdown Compound I was in... I couldn't leave Thomas. I wasn't selfish enough.

So I went back.

Having been gone a full week, the boys were surprised to see me again. Newt moved to me one lunch and sat at my otherwise empty table to ask where I'd been. After a second - Michael, after all, had told me not to talk to Newt about Sonya, as I'd talked to Sonya about Newt - I looked at him. This young boy was the only chance at a Sonya I had on this side. He was the only one I could stand and wasn't scared of. The only one that still tried. The only one I had a chance to make a real friendship with. And it just so happened he knew EXACTLY what I felt in my losing Thomas.

So I caved. I told him about seeing the girls, and mentioned Sonya even before he could ask, as I saw his eyes widen and knew he was going there. I told him everything. Our friendship. The way the girls were warm and welcoming and accepting and loving and wonderful. I told him about how nice it had been. How I'd immediately been part of a family and had belonged so well. I told him about how Sonya and I had especially bonded and shared bunks and became like sisters. How we told each other everything. How she talked about him with me all the time. I described every detail of her face, painting a mental picture for him.

"Why did you come back?"

The question took me off guard. Of course the smart, little kid would ask just the right question to get to the root of my emotional unbalance. I looked at my hands, fighting not to cry. I was losing everyone. I'd lost my brother and then lost an entire chance at comfort and happiness and the little family I could so easily gain to maybe one day possibly return to said brother. Now, I sat here, without my best friend or little family or the comfort or the happiness - or my brother. 

Alone.

Newt took my hand and I looked up at him. "Thomas," I croaked. Newt looked confused. "My... my brother." Newt's eyes shot wide. "They took him away. Brought me here to be with the boys for heaven knows why and told me that if I was good I could - MAYBE see him again. Which is better than you and Sonya have. I shouldn't complain, I know. It's so selfish and bratty of me. But I worry about him. Mr. Michael is ecstatic with how well I'm doing at school and how obedient and controlled I am being. I do it for him. For Thomas. But I fear that they have him alone. Michael said my brother needed some seclusion. Thomas doesn't do well when left alone."