Alternate | Seokjin [√]

eyes

❝There’s a hole in my heart
Nothing can fill it up❞

-instagram, dean

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eunsuen:
that's another reason i hate myself

eunsuen:
I'm just too damn self centered

kim.seokjin:
i don't believe you

eunsuen:
you should

kim.seokjin:
at least tell me what happened???

kim.seokjin:
with the other seokjin

eunsuen:
you know jin

eunsuen:
once i told you i get nightmares every night. that no matter how my dream starts they end up the same way

kim.seokjin:
yeah you did

kim.seokjin:
and??

eunsuen:
and in my dreams

eunsuen:
it's always him,
you
crying

kim.seokjin:
lmfao kid

kim.seokjin:
i don't cry

eunsuen:
yeah you don't

eunsuen:
I've never seen him sad let alone cry

eunsuen:
that's why i was scared
i hesitated

kim.seokjin:
lol when did that even happen

kim.seokjin:
ashamed of my other self tbh

eunsuen:
there's no weakness in crying jin

eunsuen:
it happened a few weeks before he died

eunsuen:
i saw him crying in the infirmary by himself. i was there because i skipped a class since i was feverish and no one else was there

eunsuen:
i saw him crying from the back and i..

eunsuen:
panicked.. i just didn't know what to do. i was too damn anxious thinking what i should tell or ask him i just thought he'd feel better if he had some time by himself

eunsuen:
so i closed the curtain and left him alone there

eunsuen:
and soon after some days the news came

eunsuen:
that he had died he took his own life

eunsuen:
I'm so sorry..
i hate myself

kim.seokjin:
don't be sorry please
don't hate yourself

eunsuen:
but jin i should've helped him i should've asked him what's wrong but i left him alone

eunsuen:
it's all my fault

kim.seokjin:
how is it your fault

kim.seokjin:
there were a lot of people close to him and no one knew, suspected anything. you barely even knew him so how'd you know what's wrong with him

eunsuen:
yeah but that's a person I've known for three years even though it was 'barely'

eunsuen:
and no one suspected anything because they haven't seen his vulnerable side which he chose not to show anyone

eunsuen:
except i did and i ran away

eunsuen:
i just left like it was nothing
he must've been going through such a tough time

eunsuen:
thinking about it there were also other signs

eunsuen:
him not singing, making jokes, taking sick leaves often from school and work. i barely saw him anywhere when he'd be everywhere before

eunsuen:
and now that I'm realizing it he's not here anymore

kim.seokjin:
don't cry eunsuen

eunsuen:
how did you know i was crying

kim.seokjin:
i just did

kim.seokjin:
it's not your fault and this is coming from me so you should believe it because basically he and i are the same person

kim.seokjin:
practically anyone would've chosen to let him be. even i would've done that

kim.seokjin:
and he probably wanted to stay by himself too. else he wouldn't be crying by himself alone there

kim.seokjin:
so it's not your fault.

kim.seokjin:
I'm sure he wouldn't like you being sad over it or repent your action

kim.seokjin:
just the fact that you haven't forgotten him and remember him like he's still there is a lot

kim.seokjin:
remember that you kept sending him texts for a year even after his death it's a little funny but i bet the guy's liking it up there

kim.seokjin:
maybe he's even jealous of me since i get to talk to you ;)

eunsuen:
i hope he's fine there and living a better life

eunsuen:
i hope he smiles and sings a lot and tells dadjokes to others and make them laugh

kim.seokjin:
I'm sure he does love

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a/n: the person next to you,
can be gone all of a sudden.