The Protector

XXIX

We were too late to get curry, so I quickly whipped up chips and bacon for our tea - it was past eight so it wasn't too surprising that the other hungry fuckers got there first. I took a while in the shower due to having to comb out blood clots in my hair. Thankfully, she managed to eat over half of her plate which made me so happy I tackled her into a hug when she was finally full for the night. I'm relieved she understands that I'm only making her eat more for her health, which she was aware wasn't good anyway.

Now though, we're laying in bed. She's breathing softly beside me, while I stare up at the ceiling in boredom. She wanted to go to sleep at eleven, too tired to do much more. However, no matter what I try, I just can't calm down enough to sleep peacefully for more than two minutes. Part of me is starting to worry over the whole Zayn situation, the other too scared and anxious to sleep in case something awful happens. I'm certain some of these feelings are from Marshmallow since she keeps moving around and fidgeting in her slumber.

Because of all these emotions, my thoughts are progressing to other topics, ones I'd rather not think about. Every time I close my eyes, images of Mother and how I could have prevented her death gnaw at my exhausted mind. Sometimes I know there wasn't anything I could do, other times I blame myself for not acting sooner and sometimes think of all the things I should have done to ensure her safety - it always results in me blaming myself though which she'd hit me for.

I'm worried about letting the pack down. If I can't kill Zayn, then he might kill them because of my weakness. Their deaths would be my fault, I don't want hundreds of people to die because of me not doing my job, no one should die for someone else's stupidity. We're a family, we protect each other, we fight for each other - I can't let them down. I have let enough people down in my life, I want to end the curse.

Looking over to the clock on Mallow's side, it reads almost four, I need to get up for training at nine or I won't be able to eat beforehand and with Lizzy, that's a priority. I've decided I need to get my arse in gear and do as much as possible otherwise I stand no chance. Besides, I promised to fight Harry, Matthew and Davey for group combat practice.

A sigh cools the air above me as my head presses into the pillow behind it. Eyes closing in an attempt to will myself to sleep, doesn't work since they are soon flying open as Mallow starts shaking viciously. The small movements soon turn to thrashes, all tiredness clearing from the fogginess.

Jolting up, I twist to face her. She's clutching at the duvet and sheets below like they're about to be ripped from her as though they're the only thing keeping her safe from some evil entity. "Marshmallow?" I force my voice to stay soft. However, she starts screaming, her nails clawing at the parts of her body that the covers touch. No longer are they protecting her, they have become the monster she's trying to escape from. "Lizzy." She convulses with strained sobs between breathless screams. Thank Goddess we're at the end of the hallway, further away from any other room. Caleb is normally the closest, but he's practically moved into Lewis' room.

It's quite obvious she's having a nightmare, but the terror is adding another layer to the dream. "Lizzy." Her claws extend, moving to rip into her skin. Acting instantly so she doesn't hurt herself, I hold her hands down which only results in her kicking mindlessly. She's mistaking reality for her nightmare, I've become the antagonist.

Trying to move her into a more comfortable position where she can't hurt herself, she startles and stabs me in the stomach with her talons. Although I grunt, I swallow it down since she needs taking care of more than a few scratches I receive along the way. Tears burn my eyes when feeling my large intestine be sliced open from her trembling blades.

I cross my legs under me before pulling her onto my lap, her scrunched up expression facing me. Holding her close she screams in my ear, claws moving to rake down my practically bareback. I can feel a warm thickness dripping onto the sheets beneath us from the depths of these new wounds. Nevertheless, this doesn't distract me, instead holding her closer so our hearts beat against each other. Her's is erratic and traumatised while mine stutters at her pain.