"lol im such a lonely cunt" you said. "it's high noon. Shit I didn't practice the script enougj. I meant it's time for me to meet some othet lonely cunts."
You loaded up wattpad, the ideal dating site. You searched "undertale smut" because you were into both at that (bad) time.
Then a warning came.
"Why the fuck would you reeeead that shit?! Check out my book of random."
And then there was a link. You clicced it and started reading. This guy sucks at writing lmao. What's his name, asshammer? Oh wait it's glasshammer
At the very end there was a link to a dickcord server. You clicced that ass well.
When you joined there were like a lot of people. The server was called ''Glasshammer Fan Club'' And then someone messaged you privately.
''Wagwam piffting what's ur bbm pin''
You suddenly felt attracted to this random person you've never met before.
And then you had a conversation with the dude the whole (fort) nite.
You learned that he lived in Birmingham, UK. With that information you told him you had to go to sleep. But then, your physco american stalker skills kicked in and you tried to track him down
mission failed we'll do it to em next time
The next day...
"(y/n) WAKE THE FUCK UP WE'RE MOVING TO BIRMINGHAM BITCH" your lesbian dad yelled.
well that was a coincidence
Without questioning any further, you jumped into the car and whipped out your Nintendo Switch XL XL and started playing Super Mario Ohdisgay Deluxe (tm)
After a couple of hours...
"lol you realize you left all your friends in America right" xX_GayDad_Xx questioned
"not that I had any besides I wanna meet that guy on the internet I talked to for only two hours"
"understandable have a great day"
by the time you arrived to the uk it was already as dark as my soul.
so you hopped into a hotel room and stayed there. You also tied up the people occupying the room and threw them out of the window. rest in pee pee.
"o yea you have scool tmmrw btw" your father said
"You obviously require education too, dear father, as you seem to use "texting language" while communicating with me." you retorted with perfect grammar.
He got angerey, went to take something from his bags and returned with the needle from faggoty love.
You unseathed your katana.
"not today, paisano."
"Nani the fuck"
You slowly made your way over to him, but then something caught your attention.
Yeetabix.
Nothing could seperate you and your cereal.
Y0u suddenly dropped your katana and started devouring the breakfast material.
"mmm yes that is the good feel"
You always did get tired after a good bowl of weetabix. Maybe that was why you were late all the fucking time.
So you hopped into the bed. You saw that you accidentally jumped close to a baby.
"Oh shit this must be the couple's bay bee."
So you decided to do the most reasonable thing.
Throw it out the window.
"lol I can't offer my love to that child. MY L0vE iS fOr GlAsS-" but you drifted off to sleep without any regrets.
When you woke up you weren't in bed anymore. GayDad hit the gym and now he's a strong boi.
He threw you over a football field and you crashed right trough a window, into, conveniently, your class. You started walking over to the teacher's desk to apologize for the window but you accidentally hit a "wall" in a cliché kind of way. You both fell over.
"Oh hey you're the new kid right? even though there's over 300 people in this school and there's no way I could've known that?" He asked.
"Das me." You stated proudly.
"What's ur bbm pi- I mean, uh, name?" The boy asked picking up his books.
"JOHN CENNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" you yelled.
-fuck not a 2010 meme again. said the teachman.
Even the guy looked disgusted.
"Uh yeah I'm Haarish."
"sup'"
suddenly two people jumped with shades behind him.
"Sorry, this is the trash trio so no normies!" One said.
"Oh shit waddup" you gasped
"NO NORMIES" the 3rd on yelled.
"Pleasure to meet you all what be your names" you said politely
"I'm Geno, a Canadian that's been kidnapped and brought here for no reason. Send help." Geno stated.
"I'm a Malayyyyyy and the people 'round here call me Joy. I've also been kidnapped."
You deicded it would be probably appropriate to introduce yourself.
"I'm (y/n) and I'm an American."
You put your hands on Haarish's shoulders.
"WHERE ARE THE GUNS."
"Oi bruv I'm cheesed off with Americans' daft guns! This is balls-up!"
After putting that trough google translate, I responded with:
"oh."
Then the door bust open.
"SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME-" someone started shouting.
"apple please no" Geno pleaded.
"lol ok bye losers"
ANd then "Apple" kicked the door again.
Then she jumped out of a window.
"This is the 15th window broken at school today." Teachman stated. "Most caused by that fruit person. Why don't we suspend her yet lmao"
Then her head came trough the window.
"stop snitching motherfucker" before disapearing again.
"what the fuck this is a 30-storty buulding" Teachman confuzled.
And then a bottle of maple syrup dropped from Geno's bag.
Joy picked it up and drunk it.
"Great now she's high on sugar." He sighed.
"She's always high." Haarish pointed out.
And then, Joy, following the tradition, also jumped out of the window.
"What is wrong with this school?!" Teachwoman grunted.
"WAIT FOR ME GUYS!!" Geno ran and did a backflip, and gracefully fucking died.
probably.
This is the 1 7th person to jump out of a window.
Who knows if they're dead or not at this point tbh.
And that concludes part 1
Thanks Apple for the help
Released early for Squidy boi
K bye next part coming soon
You have to be above the age of 8 to read it tho
Not 18
8
Got it?
YOU ARE READING
Album about unplanned things
RandomThis isn't plagiarized from @Glasshammer no no no don't you worry about it cover not mine But this book is however protected by the goodest boys so watch your step muahahah
