Mend my Mind {Kakashi Hatake}

34 | the thing with fathers

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"What did Damaru say?" I asked as we walked back to Konoha.

"Nothing I couldn't have guessed, given time, but I'm glad he told me," Miyoshi said. "Apparently Shizuka's father... well, he's not a great father, let's say. He was drinking long before the war, and that was why her mother went off to fight - to get away from him for a while. Since she died, though, he's been taking out his anger and grief on Shizuka. That's why she's so nervous. She's used to being punished for the littlest mistakes, so she tries to avoid it."

"That doesn't really surprise me," I murmured.

"You can't tell Shizuka that we know, though. Damaru told me in secret when she wasn't in the room. She didn't want me to know. I mean... I don't really blame her. That man may be abusive, but he's the only father she's ever known. Not to mention she's barely eleven years old." Miyoshi sighed. "She needs to get out of a place like that, it's not good for her. But I can understand why she doesn't want to, and why she still loves him. Or says she does, anyway."

"Do you think we should do anything?" I asked.

Miyoshi looked at me for a moment. "I'm not sure what we can do. We can't easily intervene when we have no evidence besides Damaru's word. We'll just have to keep a close eye on her and wait until she needs us."

"She might need us sooner than you think," I warned lightly.

"I know." Miyoshi slipped her hand into mine.

"Sensei!" Iko whined. "Damaru called me stupid!"

"Iko started it!" Damaru retorted.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Just 'cause you're jealous I'm stronger than you!"

"It doesn't matter if you're stronger, I'm faster, so I could easily beat you in a fight!"

"No way! You have noodle arms!"

Miyoshi rolled her eyes. "I could destroy both of you in a fight. Why don't we shut up and get along for once, huh?"

"But Sensei, your arms are even more noodly than Damaru's!" Iko protested. "I've gotta be stronger than you."

Miyoshi's eyebrow twitched. "Alright, everybody stand back."

I took the initiative to herd the Genin away from her, getting them a safe distance away. "Trust me, you want to be far away," I murmured.

Miyoshi channeled and bundled up a vast amount of chakra, then pounded her fist into the ground, releasing it all at once. The earth shattered around her, leaving the road jagged and full of deep cracks. She wasn't quite as strong as Sakura or Tsunade, but it was enough to make Iko flinch and shut up.

"Feel better?" I joked.

Miyoshi frowned at her knuckles. "Not as strong as normal. Oh well, I guess I am a little rusty as of late."

"It might be more than that," I suggested, but said nothing more, conscious of the children listening in. I didn't know much about pregnancy, but if she was right, then she had a very valid reason for being rusty despite having had two months back in which to train.

Shizuka tugged on Miyoshi's sleeve and asked a question so quietly I barely picked it up: "Um, when will we be home?"

"Some time today," Miyoshi assured her. "Don't worry, we're not far now. Look, I can see the trees in the distance."

"Hey, Icy, race you there!" Iko crowed joyfully, taking off at a run.

"You'll lose!" Damaru retorted, and it looked as though he was right, by quite a long shot. Training had evidently paid off, because he was easily faster than Iko - in fact, I thought he might even be faster than me, though I didn't say that aloud. Speed wasn't my best skill, after all.

"Slow down!" Miyoshi called. "We're still a few hours away!"

"Hours?!" Iko complained. "But I wanna go home now, my feet hurt."

"You know, as a higher up shinobi, you'll have a lot of missions like this," I told him. "Think of it as practice."

"Okay," Iko grumbled reluctantly.

Miyoshi looked up at me. "What were yours like, when they were Genin?"

I laughed a little as I remembered. "Well, Naruto and Sasuke were pretty much the same as they are now. More potential than they knew what to do with. Both had very one-track minds. Sasuke was fixed on revenge, even from the start. Naruto wanted to be Hokage. Still does. That and ramen were all he'd ever talk about."

"What about Sakura?"

"A lot like you, actually," I mused. "She'd flick from being shy to loud and outspoken all the time. And she was hopelessly obsessed with Sasuke. She was pretty smart, but until she started training under Tsunade, she wasn't much good at anything. She had her moments, I suppose, but mostly she just complained about stuff when she was young. Really I think she just hadn't discovered her own talents yet."

"She's come a long way, then."

"We all have."

We walked in a comfortable silence for a little while, Miyoshi and I still holding hands. Suddenly Miyoshi tore her hand from mine and hurried forward, just in time to catch a falling Shizuka.

"Shizuka, are you okay? You're pale," Miyoshi said, putting a hand to her student's forehead. I crouched beside them, noticing that Shizuka really was white as a sheet and trembling.

"She's bleeding here," I said urgently, pointing out a red stain on her shirt. Miyoshi lifted it up a little to reveal a startlingly deep cut. She and I exchanged a glance, communicating what couldn't be said aloud: this was an old wound that had reopened. It was crisscrossed with other scars, lighter and better healed.

"It's okay," Miyoshi said soothingly to Shizuka, stroking her hair. "I can heal you, you'll be fine. Must have happened in the fight yesterday... why didn't you say anything?"

Shizuka just whimpered, curling up as if by instinct.

"Kakashi, hold her for me," Miyoshi instructed, already pulling up a large mound of soft grass beneath the little girl's legs to elevate them - that would help the shock. I'd had to do that before on the field. I lifted her gently and held her close to my chest. I'd never held a child like this before. It was strange, but I thought it was something I wouldn't mind getting used to.

"You'll be okay, Shizuka," Miyoshi murmured, placing her hands over the wound and starting to use medical ninjutsu. She took a leaf out of her pouch. "This might sting a little bit, so I need you to be brave."

Shizuka started to cry, squirming in my arms. I held her tightly while Miyoshi continued to work.

What if this was my child?

The thought jumped into my head without warning. She's not, I thought firmly.

But what if it was? The little voice insisted.

Not yet, I told it. But I still held her a little closer.

"You'll be okay," Miyoshi murmured to Shizuka, removing her hands and putting away her healing kit.

"I'll carry her home," I offered. "Come on."

a/n: no thoughts only Dadkashi