Second Snapshot (Picture This Sequel: Niall Horan)

-Confrontation and late nights. [Chapter 17]

"Well this is awkward..."

Harry commented as Louis gave him a shove in which response he just smirked at.

I just sat there still trying to ignore Niall's eyes on me as I brought my knees to my chest and scrolled through some mentions on twitter. Most relating to the latest rumours about a love triangle between me, Niall and Zayn. Rumours. And the rest were relating to Ellie, which in all honesty, I did not see why her six million followers did not tweet her account instead but there we go.

"Well I say we order a take-away!"

Louis suggested clapping his hands together.

"Nandos?"

Niall's thick accent piped up and I had to refrain a smile, he really hasn't changed at all.

"Sure. You order it. That way you have nobody to blame when there's not enough."

At this point I slid my phone back into my pocket and fumbled with the bracelets that were cluttering my wrists as I suddenly found them annoying and ripped them off stuffing them into my pocket along with my phone. I got up and pulled my hair from it's bun as I began to walk away.

"Ashley aren't you gonna eat with us?"

Louis frowned and I turned back around as I shook my hair running my fingers through the annoying kink that had now appeared due to having it up for a few hours.

"Yeah I am, I'm just gonna go shower first."

I informed them and they all nodded in turn and then I left cringing slightly as I walked past Liam and Claire's shouting match in the kitchen.

As soon as I got to my room I flicked on the light and faced myself with my reflection and what the events of today had inflicted on it. As if it being visible to me triggered something it became apparent that the eye make-up that was left and the excess that was cluttering underneath my eyes was actually really annoying me. Never before had I found wearing make-up particularly annoying, I could never usually feel it on there I was so used to it but right now even though I was about to get into the shower and wash it away anyway I grabbed two make-up wipes and hastily wiped it all away and stared down at the now black wipes. For the first time in my life something snapped inside of me and for a brief second I actually felt confused as to how, after all these years, I had found the will to cover my face in all this product. Because I'm ridiculously in-secure, right? But somehow, right now make-up doesn't seem to be the answer. It's not exactly solving my problems is it? And maybe the fact that I can conceal them is what drives me to ignore and just deal with how in-secure I am but that's not exactly healthy. I should be trying to improve my confidence and not just hide it behind rather pricey product. For the merest of seconds I could almost class myself as being in the same boat as Niall. But then as I let my eyes travel back to my reflection I realised why I wear make-up again and suddenly felt defensive in the case of anyone criticizing my usage of the thing that women had used to conceal and change for so many years on end.

Cutting down was one thing, but stopping all together? That's hard. Make-up is like a drug, once you start wearing it on a daily basis you can't stop, you get addicted and after a few weeks of daily usage you're in the bag. You've let yourself fall too deep into the pit of insecurity and it seems like there's no way out. Yet. You have to serve your time, wallow in your pit of lacking confidence until someone comes along and is willing to pull you out, steadily but surely, you might begin to recover. I didn't have to ponder for too long to know that for me, this person was Niall. He hated, loathed in fact that I wore make-up, so regardless of cliché thoughts and some words that may or may not have been exchanged, I'm probably not his ideal girl. I worry too much, I'm ridiculously in-secure and most of the time I do not share his love for food. I'm also a clean freak and when it comes to somewhere that I call my own, and only my own I have a mild case of OCD. But sometimes, you don't always fall in love with your ideal partner. I mean, Niall and I, we're not the same, but that's not to say we're not the same in other aspects. We don't have every single thing you could think of in common but where it matters, we do. You don't have to be the other version of someone to be right for them, of course it's nice if you are but we're not and that's okay. Because with Niall, he has habits that in any other potential boyfriend I would have written off straight away claiming I couldn't be dealing with that but with Niall I learned to put up with how he always failed to wash his clothes at regular intervals, or clean the kitchen after cooking something, or pick his clothes up off the floor. These small habits that he has had always pissed me off to an end in the past with any other boy but with him I learned to put up with it, and work around these small imperfections in my world of relationships because I love him. And love is a lot more powerful than these small habits he has. It works two ways, I put up with his habits the same way he puts up with how maybe, I am just too obsessed with dirty fingerprints on my car windows, or when someone knocks the bookmark from my book and I have to go through and find the exact page again, or how everything for me runs on timing and stepping a minute of line is just not acceptable. Because aside from small arguments that these may spark the relationship itself is worth way more than an imperfection here and there and love, if honest and strong enough, will over power over everything.