stelliferious | reviews and critique

Julian And Alexandria - stellardreams-

Hello, I will be reviewing your book today. I hope my feedback will help you greatly. <3

Title: Julian And Alexandria

Not much to say about this, except that only the important words in the title should be capitalized. So your title should be "Julian and Alexandria".  Some examples of nonimportant words are "the", "and" and "of". Of course, those words become important if they are the start of the title. For example, "The Ring"....anyways, you get the point. I'll stop rambling now.

Cover:

Nice cover! I like the aesthetic. My only comment is that I can't read the words underneath the title. It's too small and blends too much with the background. Other than that, it gives a delicate feel to the story, which I like. 

//this picture may come out blurry since I saved a smaller version and then Wattpad decided to enlarge it again (; ･'д･')//

Description:

"No, this'll end up in heartbreak. No, you'll never work out. No, this is fake. But I followed my gut and gave in to the cliff, ignoring the hundred and one warnings that screamed no. "You're the only one, Julian. I love you." Alexandria Connor is your little miss sunshine. She is made of giggles, rainbows, and cute cats. Julian Foster, on the other hand, is the opposite. What happens when these two souls find each other? A new world filled with chaos, secrets, love, and mischief is bound to happen."

I actually really like the beginning. It's sad, but hooks the reader in. Why does is the character on a cliff? Did he/she jump? Or is this all just metaphorical? There are a few mistakes however. What did you mean by "No, you'll never work out"? Did you mean "No, this'll never work out"? Also the last sentence doesn't make sense. What you wrote is that the world, which is filled with chaos, secrets, love, and mischief is bound to happen. I understand (if my assumptions are correct) what you were trying to get across, but it also doesn't really make sense. Maybe change it to "A new world filled with chaos, secrets and love, with mischief bound to happen."

Story:

//scrolling through the aesthetic and I freaking love it//

The prologue is short, but it's powerful. I can already tell that the girl is having unsure feelings towards Julian. I love how you use metaphors that make it seem almost like a poem. I myself, hate describing somebody's eyes as orbs, it's overused in poetry a lot. It also doesn't quite fit with the scene before the reader. When one describes eyes as orbs, their eyes are glassy and staring off into space. However, if you feel like you really need to keep "orbs", do so.

I like how you use words such as "ludicrous" or "insolent" in your story. Having different vocabulary in your story can really spice it up, rather than boring words such as "sad" and "big".

What does the guy mean by "We're gonna shuffle you kids?"

One last thing I'd like to talk about is the character developement.  Most of the story doesn't reflect on Alexandria's thoughts. It only describes her actions and tells the dialogue. Giving the characters some thoughts can make the readers relate more and feel connected to them more easily.

Overall, your story is interesting and doesn't have many errors. I would appreciate it more if you described the surroundings a bit more so the readers can imagine the story in your head. 

Would I keep on reading?

Yes, yes I would! Overall, your story is aesthetically pleasing and the story is written quite well. There are a few changes I'd make, but nothing too drastic. I'm currently on chapter five :) Sorry that this review took so long, I had a truckload of homework....