If I Fell

Chapter 9: Not so Diffirent

"So let me guess your gonna fill me with drinks and say how sorry you are." Cyn said sarcastically

John rolled his eyes, "look brian insisted i come. I could be with my girlfriend i disappointed her yet again.  But he insisted i come."

"Well i'm not that happy either" she said.

Silence came upon the table yet again.

"Look, we are here now let's try to make the most of it." John said. 

"You got in trouble didn't you?" she said sarcastically chuckling

"Ok we both know we don't like each other, we know that but i just wanted to say"... it was hard for him to apologize his pride was getting in the way.

Cynthia looked at him skeptically

"I just wanted to apologize, I shouldn't have said what i said or acted that way."

"Well that wasn't hard now was it?" she said smiling

John sipped his drink.

"Apology accepted" she said.

"Well it's all been said and done you can go with your girlfriend now" she said.

John looked at her, "no we are already here, and you didn't dress up just so i could leave."

She looked at him skeptically "thank you for noticing i dressed up" she said sarcastically.

"Look im not as bad as you think" he said taking another sip of his drink

"Oh no?" she asked

"No i tend to say what on my mind without thinking of the possible consequences. So you understand where i'm coming from?" He asked.

Taking out a cigarette she looked for her lighter john noticed and lit it for her using his.

Blowing out smoke she gave him a small nod.

"Yes now i do, but i must say it was refreshing really, you know actually hearing what you had to think of me and henry. I feel people aren't honest much anymore or at least say what they are thinking."

"Your right, he said taking another sip. Like i said im not really a bad guy."

"Well let's see how the night turns out to make my own conclusions" she said smiling

John laughed.

"So without offending you more, can i ask you something personal?"

"You sure you don't want to get another drink in me first?"

"Why aren't you really married?"

"Are you asking what's wrong with me?" she asked.

"No i mean you just seem to he really in love with the bloke is all, and wouldn't you be happier married settled down instead of dealing with guys like me all day?" He asked.

"I guess i could ask you the same thing, but i'm a woman so maybe i can't. Look im not going to just get married because i should, i want to be married because i am in love with that person."

"So you don't love him?" John asked. Lighting his cigarette.

"That's not what i meant." She said rolling her eyes.

"Look it's just not the right time, for me and henry and i think women have come along way, we don't have to decide between doing laundry or being successful in our own right, anymore". 

John acknowledged her, "your right im sorry i didn't mean ifor it to come out that way."

"You don't mean a lot of things do you?" She said.

"And what about you, are you in love with your girlfriend? Since we are getting personal she said sipping her drink."

"Course i am, i mean we've been together for a while, now".  He replied.

"And that word love, what does it really even mean?" He said.

Cynthia looked at him skeptically,

"Not sure i believe in it, much."

Cynthia adjusted herself.

"Wow i never realized it but this moment she said, but it must be hard being you, there is more than meets the eye" she said looking at him.

"What?" john asked taking a puff from his cigarette.

"Look mr lennon"

"Call me john" he said.

"Mr. Lennon, i don't really know what you really believe in but i do know what it feels to be out of place disconnected, having to live life according to everyone else's rules and i think you do also.

Looking at her he was stunned, here was this woman who he hated, thought nothing of and here she was almost reading his mind.

"Im not sure, what you mean" he said nervously taking a sip.

"Well i think i should get going, she said burying her cigarette in the ashtray.

"You sure you dont want to stay?" John said getting up.

"No it's fine really and don't worry you can tell brian you charmed me" she said sarcastically smiling.

Getting up she left john sat there stunned.