Scattered Pieces

Storytime: Spiraling @ Party City

MAY 11TH, 2018
Time of Day Written: May 12th, 2018

So after dinner, my mother, grandma, and I went to Party City in order to go collect some more graduation decorations because my sister is about to graduate high school. While they were looking for certain balloons, I start looking around for other party stuff like costumes and other random shit. That is when I start to lose it.

We were looking at small toys and games for the children that might show up. I ended up looking at the board/card games and found an adult game called HashtagIt. All I did was look at the back and was hooked on it because it was pictures and hashtags with dirty hashtags. While that was going on they were talking to who I believe is a couple looking for birthday party items. Then after that was another couple saying a name that made my mother cringe. My mom talks about all the shit that I've done to her and it made the woman react. In the past, I have put a centipede that was made out of that sticky hand material in the bed. The scream mask under the pillow and then a large Halloween animatronic of a dancing skeleton wearing a funky suit under the covers. Apparently, my dad didn't know about the skeleton until later when my mom went to bed at two in the morning. All I did was laugh my ass off.

It is time for us to do a second lap around the store and I was becoming a bit weird. I ended up finding a shelf that contained a costume set by the name 'old school' and 'hip-hop.' My eyes caught a snapback that is usually found in other stores for that street gangster look. It was a black hat bedazzled with fake gold rhinestones on the front panels and the visor. Immediately, my brain said this was a douchebag hat and I have to wear it. So my family told me to go get it, but I wanted to show them what is all there. There were giant dollar sign necklaces and the gold chain bling, but I went to the pimp stick. I start to make comments about this because of a class in college said we all need to 'pimp ourselves' for game dev studios. One of my classmates likes to say he is a pimp. 

After that, my family was looking for weights and I was thinking of those weights that are used for balloons. Nope, it was weights that look like graduation hats. I ended up heading to the balloons to look for the weights and I run into the couple that is doing the birthday party. They stole the ladder from the building in order to grab the pinata that is on the top shelf. It was a Super Mario themed pinata that resembled the question block. The girl wanted to do a video of herself hitting the question block with her head. I loved the idea so I helped out by raising the pinata above her head as I high as I can as the guy use a phone to record the video. Immediately, I tried to hide the joy and laughter that was forming inside of me. We ended up laughing a lot before I had to get back to my family. 

Next was by the wall of the color-coordinated party supply area. I was fruity from wearing the douchebag hat and the pinata moment. When my mother wasn't looking, I start throwing plushies at her that was made to look like the poop emoji. I was throwing shit at her. That is when my grandmother started to spiral too. She found the gold section and grabbed items. It was one of those weird headbands with the fake pigtails and then the classic shot glass on a Mardi Gras necklace. She starts to wonder who will take the time to get her a drink. We laugh at the idea before I hand her my hat. I called her Cool G-Ma, making my mother laugh at this idea. This made her speechless because we were coming up with ways to mess with my sister's graduation. That is when we decided that we should leave before I become a total nuisance. I was spiraling to the point I might have to be escorted out of the building.

As we head to the car, my mother said I should work there. I didn't understand why, but she explained the customers would like me and make good sales. Yeah, knowing me I would become a horrible influence on the children and my rare curse will occur. What I'm referring to is the natural power of accidental destruction. I might send the aisle shelves into a domino chain. I would rather stay away from becoming a man that will spiral out of control to the point of destroying a building.

My mom decided we should stop at a Dairy Queen for ice cream and I ended up becoming a spiraling salty character. I wanted a waffle cone and they don't even carry that anymore. I ended up saying things that I don't remember talking about and I was to be quiet because the workers could probably hear me. My grandma received her vanilla ice cream and for some reason, the way it was made was a bit strange. I told them it was a mushroom because the ice cream looked like an actual mushroom. But after we left I ended up saying that immature people would say that it looks like a dick. It was a dick mushroom shaped ice cream. Then all of a sudden my grandmother turns on the car light to check something. Grandma thought she put her cigarette in my mother's ice cream and not the ash container. The idea of her putting a used cigarette into a blizzard that is still full made me laugh.

Finally, it was time to head home and we ended up doing one more thing before we call it a night. So there are around five different areas that are under construction and it is making things hard for the locals to drive through. They placed those 'road closed' fences down on the road just so locals can pass through or take a different path. The way they set it up for drivers is to maneuver through the two fences with the space that they give us. But lately, the space for us to drive through has been becoming tighter than usual. My mother wanted to back into them and move them with the vehicle. Nope. I told her to park it and I got out and moved them myself. So I grabbed of the fences and pulled them off the road enough for drivers to get through, I had to make sure I didn't move them too much or I might end up falling into the ditch that is on the road. I thought I was doing on my own until I noticed that my grandmother is helping by moving the other one. I join her to move the other by pushing it. After that, she starts to walk back onto the road and end losing her balance because of the wet grass and the ditch height. Grandma ended up falling into the ditch. I couldn't see fully so I had to use the flashlight on my phone in order to find her hand and help her up. Well, I did and we hopped back into the car and head home. My mother was laughing because she didn't know what happened until we got back into the car. In my mind, I wanted to hurry up in case someone found us either moving the fence or getting grandma out of the ditch. The idea of coming up with an excuse about the ditch was going to lead to me saying "Grandma had a little too much to drink" type of answer. My dad was told about the ditch thing from the three of us and he got a kick out of it. 

At end of all of this, we had a fun time spiraling and causing a bunch of mischiefs. We have more stuff for the graduation party, I got a few things to have fun and look more like a dipshit, and my grandmother has a story to tell to her family for the Mother's Day party she has to go on the thirteenth of May. Let yourself get stupid and weird, it always ends up with a comedic ending!

If you want to see what the hat and the card game look like. Check out digiscript on Instagram.

Later!